Last Night: Charlie Sheen's "Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour" at Verizon Wireless Theater

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Craig Hlavaty
Charlie Sheen's tour stop in Houston last night wasn't a wash-out, a bomb, or the expensive meltdown that most in town had hoped for. In fact, he was embraced at every turn by fans of all stripes, with men and women alike fawning over him like he was a surviving Beatle, or at least someone in Mötley Crüe.

You can make a few assumptions about Houston taking Sheen in with such open arms. One being that his core audience isn't cynical like the rest of the country and can take him for what he is, or had made himself out to be.

The other angle you can take is that you live in a city with low cultural standards where stupidity reigns on high. Believe either one or neither, but the man nearly sold out the venue, and had most every ass in each seat holding a piece of merch he was selling in the lobby.

I was there with the Sheeniuses from beginning to end, cradling my cellphone, a camera, extra batteries for each, and an open mind. I'm not a warlock or a goddess, but I like a good, batshit, American story. Here's the Twitter play-by-play...

Sheen's got a tour bus. Wait, three. This tour rolls three deep.

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Drink specials here inside Verizon are geared towards the entertainment, obviously. Yes. Tiger's Blood? Of course it's vodka and Red Bull, numb nuts.

"Goddess" panties on sale at the merch booth, but probably not "game" worn.

People made "Winning" shirts to wear here, or bought weird knockoffs online. This is the real deal.

Band of blond girls looking kinda porn-y in the smoking section out front. Future would-be goddesses, or just girls with deluxe passes to the tanning salon?

Crowd is somewhere between a metal show and a comedy show. Very male. Lots of very pretty chicks. Feels like a circus, or like an Andrew Dice Clay show in the late `80s, or what I can imagine one would have been like. I was seven when he was popular.

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Show opens with television and film clips on a HD screen onstage. At first we see Sheen clips from recent TV interviews.

Embattled theme is overpowering, with rugged outsider icons like Travis Bickle, Dirty Harry, Sam Quint and lots of Apocalypse Now making the cut after. A fucking live guitarist is onstage. Sheen walks through crowd, back to my section and I high-five him.


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25 comments
Yaddayaddayadda
Yaddayaddayadda

The same viral media hype that sold Charlie Sheen tickets elected Barack Obama (Shep Fairey wheatpasted posters and t-shirts at Urbane Outfitterz anyone?).

America 2011 Land of the hype, home of the douchebag.

Mscoloringbook
Mscoloringbook

I was there, I enjoyed it. It was entertainment, nothing more. Besides Charlie sheen rocks bitches!!!

Michael Belmares
Michael Belmares

I remember yelling at those people waiting on Charlie by the bus. "Fuckin' assholes!" It was my friend's birthday and he deserved to be there. Damn you.

Bunch of fucking sheep
Bunch of fucking sheep

Going to see this might be the litmus test for uncoolness.

Good to see that America's ever-quickening slide toward "Full Retard" continues unabated.

Davemelbourne58
Davemelbourne58

I'm pretty sure attendance wasn't mandatory for last night's show, but it sounds to me that all these whiners on here that didn't go are probably a bit jealous that they missed out on all the fun last night. This last comment above reminds me of that funny conversation from the movie, Stripes:

Psycho: The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me "Psycho". Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you......Also I don't like nobody touching me. Now any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.

Sergeant Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.

Sounds like you got "it", Craig. Thanks for the nice play-by-play.

Guest
Guest

what the fuck are you talking about?

Jaredrf
Jaredrf

go drink some more tigers piss...nobody is jealousI hope you had to look that quote up and didnt have it committed to memory chief

sheen nation? really?
sheen nation? really?

Sheen is a loudmouth annoying attention whore that doesnt compare to anything HS Thompson did or represented, except for the drugs of course. The word interesting is the kindest word that comes to mind but that interest is only in observing how sadly impressionable and weak minded so many folks are. As you said, in todays social media obsessed culture, someone with some fame and name recognition as well as cash has the power to capture the attention of people who place celebrities on a pedestal and would rather not make their own thoughts. At least the dough those idiots spent on sheen merch wont be used for more affliction t-shirts or tribal tattoos.

CraigHlavaty
CraigHlavaty

"As you said, in todays social media obsessed culture, someone with some fame and name recognition as well as cash has the power to capture the attention of people who place celebrities on a pedestal and would rather not make their own thoughts."

Amen.

Bdurb75
Bdurb75

Loved the show and your review....I was right there with you when he came to high five everyone (you could only see my hand in your picture) and I was also in your shot when Charlie was leaving on the bus (would love to know if you have any other photos of those situations?).

Two and a Half Men was/is my all time favorite show, I only hope he stays sober and fights for his children while trying to balance his entertainment career......I've laughed many times because of his work.

JB
JB

"Two and a Half Men was/is my all time favorite show"

Amazing. Who are these people?

AK
AK

He needs to take off that shirt. or rather shasta should have slashed it off his chest. geez.

Gary Packwood
Gary Packwood

Psychopaths do not perform in front of an audience on the fly.

They can't!

They need to be scripted and watched over.

Mr. Charlie Sheen and Mr. Hunter Thompson don't fit into any category of psychopathology.

But they are not examples of ordinary people.

And for some reason conservative Americans can't tolerate that simple little fact.

Hunter had a story to tell as does Charlie.

Let's just listen and learn.

Celebrate Irrelevance!
Celebrate Irrelevance!

Charlie Sheen isn't cool enough to shovel up the owl shit on Hunter S. Thompson's patio.

CraigHlavaty
CraigHlavaty

I agree, but in a fucked up way I sort of think that they would have been fast friends.

CraigHlavaty
CraigHlavaty

I think there are different levels of understanding Sheen. I see him as this guy that got caught in a vulnerable position and fought his way through it, and somehow created a following. He's not perfect.

Tom Jenkins
Tom Jenkins

it's great how houstonians can talk shit about detroit. at least there's one city in the US over which they may actually have superiority.

Geezy
Geezy

Craig, you did the best you could with the writeup but seriously- this sounded pretty fucking terrible. Was there just a bunch of dick pulling going on?

shortbus
shortbus

It was a Charlie Sheen show, not RuPaul.

Melissa
Melissa

Sheen shares the same audience demographic as Howard Stern and Jerry Springer. Not so hard to believe that the audience who attended the show found him funny. Thankfully this mentality does not represent the majority. Based on the comments from most of the shows, the real winners are those selling the alcohol. Sounds like most of the people attending were so drunk, they would have cheered anyone or for anything.

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