Taking Dogs to Restaurants and Bars: Why Stop There? (Five Other Options to Consider)

Take me to the porno shop, please.

Why stop there? There are plenty more places people should be allowed to take their beloved dogs.

Here's five:

5. Porno video booths
No, you depraved pervert, not for any bestiality reasons. It's strictly for health, to prevent tragedies like the guy who was dead for 12 hours in such a booth before being discovered. Surely a dog would have helped in that situation.

4. Church
Roman Catholics: Doggie-treat communion wafers. Evangelical Southern Baptists: At least dogs will be able to keep a straight face during rants about how Democrats are bringing on Sodom, Gomorrah and Armageddon. Joel Osteen: Become a Better Fido: 7 Keys to Improving Your Life Every Day, Including Licking Your Balls on sale in lobby.

3. Astro games
Since you're likely to have an entire section of seats to yourself, why not let Brutus roam around a bit? Also, you'll need the companionship.

2. DPS Driver's License offices
Scientists, after years of intensive research, admit they are utterly stumped when it comes to how to make a visit to DPS more annoying than it already is. The answer: Be forced to stand online for your two hours behind some woman making baby talk to her purse dog. And they said it couldn't be done!!!

1. Cats at the Hobby Center
Dogs know it sucks, too. Hurry, though: Show ends April 17.