Top Five Animals Who Probably Deserve the Lethal Injection

Categories: Crime, Whatever

scrappy-doo.jpg
A blight on an otherwise perfectly good cartoon.
We reported today about how the state of Texas is considering using the same drugs used for euthanizing animals to carry out lethal injection executions of humans. While we take no side on the issue, there are certainly a lot of criminals out there who many feel deserve to die for their actions. But, what about our animal brethren?

It's easy to feel nothing for hardened criminals, but when a cute little bunny rabbit is on the clock, it's not so pleasant a thought, which is why we came up with a list of five animals who probably deserve the lethal injection.

5. Aflac Duck
Crime: Guilt by association

Gilbert Gottfried has already been fired for his Twitter comments about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, so why not just finish the job and take out the duck, too?

4. The Big Bad Wolf
Crime: Double Homicide

He kills the grandmother and Little Red Riding Hood. Of course, he was also sliced open, filled with stones and sewn up again only to drown in a well. Red and grandma were apparently fine? Seriously, these are stories for children?

3. Mr. Ed
Crime: Being a smart ass

We are certain that Wilbur eventually got sick of all the ribbing he took from his equine friend and perhaps wanted to actually send him to the glue factory -- a threat he voiced on several occasions during the show. He should have just gone with the needle.

2. Scrappy-Doo
Crime: Being an annoying little shit

Few cartoon characters are able to galvanize the hatred of television viewers the way Scrappy-Doo can. His incessant yapping was the antithesis to the lovable Scooby-Doo. Plus, he hogged all the Scooby snacks and that's just messed up.

1. Nag and Nagaina from Rikki-Tikki-Tavi
Crime: Terrorism

Was there ever a more terrifying couple than the cobras who terrorized the poor family in the classic short story and classic cartoon? We don't think so. Rikki may have done some serious ass kicking, but this all could have been solved with some swift, Texas-style justice.


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2 comments
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HeatherMella
HeatherMella

Read the Chronicle. I heard you can pay them to write anything! They may even write about you "Guest" since your so interesting.

BTW Scrappy Doo...dooooes suck!

Guest
Guest

Just out of curiosity, are Houston Press bloggers paid by the story or by the hour?

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