You Can't Spell Thexbas Without H-E-B (Note: The H and B Are Silent) -- The Fallout

Categories: Television
If you were watching the Super Bowl in Texas, you probably saw the nicely shot ad for H-E-B stores, featuring scenes of the state and Jack Ingram singing a song called "You Can't Spell Texas Without H-E-B."

This is troubling, on several levels. (It is perhaps not quite as troubling as H-E-B's other the Kroger ad, which demonstrated that a) Nolan Ryan will demand baseballs from rosy-cheeked boys politely seeking an autograph, and b) he will do so while wearing a shirt and sporting a gut that makes him look like a neon Michelin Man.)

In his song, Ingram sings such sentiments as "It ain't the Hill Country if it doesn't have the hills." Inarguable, to be sure.

"Now Houston ain't the same without its Channel to the Bay," he adds, and again, no one could gainsay that.

And his chorus:

There's so much to love about Texas, That's why Texas is home for me. Can't find any place on Earth like Texas. And you can't spell Texas without H-E-B.

Thexbas, our Thexbas, all hail the mighty state.

Will no one think of the children? At least the children of Jack Ingram fans? They are going to be terribly confused. (Or, as he might sing it, they're going to be terribly cHonEfuBsed.)

On the other hand, the idea does open itself to other possibilities.

"You can't spell 'Central Market is a rip-off' without H-E-B," could be the follow-up hit. Although if there's too much backlash, "You can't spell H-E-B without H-E-B" might be the way to go.

We'd ask Nolan Ryan for answers, but we don't have a baseball on us.

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20 comments
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Mistermacg
Mistermacg

I think you're being a little ridiculous here. It's a commercial that I thought was well produced. Is there actually an H_E_B in Texas? Of course not. Did they really think there was? C'mon. Frankly, I'm not a Jack Ingram fan, but I like commercials that remind me of that Texas pride we have despite our politicians and idiots and problems... (are those synonyms?) Forget H. E. B. trying to say they're integral to our state's identity and just say to yourself, "Thank God that it wasn't another Doritos ad or Pepsi-Max ad aimed at the lowest common denominator."

Observer
Observer

Strange ad, considering that HEB doesn't even have stores in large sections of Texas. HEB seems not to realize that the panhandle is part of Texas.

Chef504
Chef504

I could have cared less about this years Toilet Bowl. I watched maybe two minutes. I have never been to either of the cities and have no desire to in the future. Last years Saints Bowl was as good as it gets. At least for this old Saints fan. I also think Dallas is one of the top ten worst places on earth. It's still very disturbing every year to see what the coordinators plan during the half time show.

Evan
Evan

The B stands for Butts!

Jim C
Jim C

You can't have Texas without Butts...

Wait, that doesn't sound right either.

ribalding
ribalding

Sorry, I must've missed that ad. See, I went into a diabetic coma because of all that saccharin red-state bullshit in the pregame. Leave it to Fox and Dallas. (Did "Up with People" have a gig?)

Rsii0210
Rsii0210

Up with People is a raving left wing gig, I know firsthand.

Connelly
Connelly

Oops -- got my supermarkets mixed up.

I fixed, thanks all.

Wfisland
Wfisland

you cant spell stupid without HEB

Barefoot Girl
Barefoot Girl

The HEB commercial isn't bad. I saw much worse (and national, I might add) than Jack Ingram singing about Texas towns. Granted there could have been a couple of adjustments to the song and it would have made more sense to a non-creative person, but as someone who works in the advertising/PR industry that spot was really good.

And, as an aside... How on earth can you confuse two commercials about different food store chains - and gripe about both? Lame.

Ricardo
Ricardo

It struck me as someone or an advertising/PR agency who couldn't spell TEXAS.

Wyatt
Wyatt

Really? As a consumer, and someone who likes country (but not that pretty-boy shit that the likes of Ingram play), it struck me as awful.

Grant
Grant

I couldn't figure this commercial out either. Thought it was incredibly stupid. Also in the Nolan Ryan commercial, does the dad ask for the 'Nolan Ryan Cut' when pointing at the meat? Weird.

MissTex
MissTex

I love that commercial!!! Thought it was the best followed by the Darth Vader kid.

Craig
Craig

There is enough fine toned women in CM to make up for it.

Much better than the hairy set over at WF.

Michael Enak
Michael Enak

Just tell the kids the B stands for Butt and they'll forget all about the spelling issues.

Kellico
Kellico

I thought Nolan was in the Kroger commercial?

Floppy
Floppy

That commercial, the national anthem and the ridiculous reading of the Declaration of Independence were some of the worst Superbowl moments in history.

Grant
Grant

Agreed. Only Fox would force the reading of Declaration of Independence on Super Bowl fans.

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