Vanessa Gilmore: Judge Writes of Steamy Love Affair

Vanessa Gilmore: A diva reminisces

​Okay, U.S. District Judge Vanessa Gilmore hasn't really written a book about a steamy love affair, if such affairs are two-sided. But she has written a book of funny anecdotes about her time on the Houston federal bench, and she's included a tale of a lovesick prisoner who wanted to be a pen pal.

In the book You Can't Make This Stuff Up: Tales From a Judicial Diva, Gilmore relates the story, with a merciless string of [sic]'s for the inmate's writing.

It's in a chapter called "Criminals Completely in Love with the Judge," and the breezy style, while it may not be familiar to those who know her only through her court opinions, fits in well with a book that features a diamond-studded gavel on the cover:

Another suitor was the most creative I ever encountered. His correspondence to me was entitled "Writ of Meaningful Friendship" and went like this:

I, ___________. do bring before this court a heart full of love...

Now, based on the facts of her life and the facts of his life, plaintive [sic] can see that there are some differences, as the "sides of the law." He is found to have violated the California Penal Code 666, 484e and 4849. She was found to be a judge of a highter [sic] court, who sens [sic] people to prison. But all is not lost.

It goes on from there (a book excerpt is here). Gilmore says she was "impressed with his creativity (if not his spelling)."

She mentions it to a California judge, who is aghast at the facility the inmate is writing from. "That prison is for the worst offenders in the system," he tells her, "people who are on 23-hour-a-day lockdown because their crimes are so heinous."

Writes Gilmore: "Petition DENIED!"