Wait. They Still Play the Pro Bowl? (25 Things to Ponder About It)
One of the most useless events in sports takes place this weekend. No, I'm not talking about a World Cup soccer game. I'm talking about the Pro Bowl. And before the game comes up, there are a few observations that can be made about the game, the players and those who actually watch the game.
The Lingerie Football League Pro Bowl would be a Pro Bowl actually worth watching
1. Wait. They're still playing this game?
2. Seriously, they're still playing the Pro Bowl? Wasn't Matt Schaub once the MVP of this game? That should tell you how nobody really gives a damn about it.
3. Matt Schaub has played in the same number of Pro Bowls as Aaron Rodgers. A game meant to reward the game's best players shouldn't see Matt Schaub playing in it as much as Aaron Rodgers.
4. The voting for the Pro Bowl makes the Golden Globes voting look legit.
5. You know a game is meaningless when a Houston Texans player can actually be the MVP.
6. This game is so meaningless that they don't even allow defenses to blitz. This probably explains how Matt Schaub could have put up the numbers to be MVP.
7. Now a Pro Bowl featuring the players from the Lingerie Football League might actually be worth watching.
8. Pop Quiz: How do you know that you have a gambling problem? You bet on the Pro Bowl.
9. Even Carlos Lee is disgusted by the lack of hustle and effort he sees in the Pro Bowl.
10. Best Pro Bowl highlight of the last ten years or so? Simple: Peyton Manning's sideline interview calling out his idiot kicker.
11. How can this game be important if it doesn't decide home field advantage for the Super Bowl? Oops, sorry, that's MLB's stupid thinking with the All Star Game.
12. The Pro Bowl game makes preseason games appear to be competitive and worth the overpriced tickets.
13. Even the NBA All Star Game thinks the lack of defense in the Pro Bowl is pathetic.
14. Suddenly, poker on television is riveting and exciting.
15. The Pro Bowl game is so meaningless that Bill Belichick wouldn't have to stoop to cheating to win the game.
Wait, Matt Schaub was actually an MVP of something?
16. Even that sorry-ass football team from Glee would be competitive in the Pro Bowl.
17. The Pro Bowl is the one game that makes fans hope there is an NFL lockout.
18. The networks don't even want to televise this game, which should say something about a football game that a network doesn't want to televise.
19. The NHL could probably get a decent TV rating if it aired a game opposite the Pro Bowl.
20. The NFL Network doesn't even want to air this game.
21. The type of defense played in the Pro Bowl is like that played by Deion Sanders. Do anything but hit or tackle.
22. Yet somehow, as meaningless as this game is, Gary Kubiak would still find a way to lose a replay challenge and screw up his clock management.
23. Three Texans are playing in the game this year. Haven't Texans fans suffered enough?
24. I know guys who love football who will voluntarily venture out to watch one of those Twilight movies before watching the Pro Bowl.
25. Is it baseball season yet?