Forget Mr. Goodwrench: Five Other Ad Characters That Need To Be Retired

Flo will make this list pretty soon, we're guessing

​General Motors has announced it is retiring the Mr. Goodwrench character from its advertising line-up.
Which is probably a good thing, since a) We weren't even aware they were still using it, and b) It's probably not as big a selling point as it used to be: "Hey, when your GM car inevitably breaks down, we've got a guy with a wrench -- a good wrench!!"

Looking over the advertising landscape Mr. Goodwrench isn't the only longtime ad icon that's overstayed its welcome. And we're not talking about relative newcomers like the Geico gekko or Flo the Progressive Insurance Gal.

We're talking about five veterans that need to be shown the door:

5. Mr. Peanut

Yes, the elegant savoir-faire, the urban sophistication of...scarfing peanuts during a football game. A monocle, a walking stick, a top hat: it all goes great with a Budweiser.

​4. Elsie the Cow "Check out these sweet, sweet bazongas!! Don't you want to sup at these delectable teats?" Bestiality, right out there in the mainstream.

3. The Michelin Man
A balloon-shaped marshmallow man, these days we are supposed to believe that the Michelin Man (actual name "Bibendum") is out there saving lives, heroically acting to prevent injuries to toddlers on rain-soaked roads. Come on -- dude looks like he'd get winded tying his shoes. Lay off the pate, Frenchy.

​

2. Captain Morgan This guy (on the right) hands you a drink. Are you thinking "I wanna party with him" or are you immediately suspecting roofies? (That goes for either gender, by the way.)

1. That fucking AFLAC duck
This thing is soooo freakin' bad, you can't even enjoy as it gets tortured by horribly burning its feet on a barbecue as Guy Fieri cackles in the background. A swift beheading is all that's called for.