Relax: FBI Looking for Impatient Bank Robber
In October, we wondered what other manners infractions the FBI might levy against future bank robbers having already accused them of sloppy dress, chubbiness and simply being rude. We have our answer: impatience.
Impatient robber is impatient
According to the FBI, the suspect (seen in the photo looking kinda bored) "threatened to harm a teller with a gun if she didn't 'hurry-up' and hand over cash." Far be it from us to suggest that impatience might not be his biggest problem, but whatever.
The FBI describes the suspect as a "black male, 25 years old, approximately 5'10" tall, with a slim build, dark complexion, and cleanly shaven." Like another robbery suspect we wrote about, this guy fancies team logos on his clothing and is sporting what the FBI believes to be a Colorado Rockies cap, which is its own kind of crime.
Also, what is the deal with criminals just standing there frowning for the cameras. Do they not know this technology exists? Do they feel they wear a cloak of invisibility like Harry Potter? We fear to speculate.
In any event, if you have information, call the Crime Stoppers Tip Line at 713-222-TIPS (8477).