Bush & Kanye West: Five Lower Points In His Presidency, None Of Which Involve WMDs, Torture Or Decimating the Middle Class

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That belt: another low point
As you've likely heard, George W. Bush has a new book out, one that promises to be as good as his campaign bio A Charge to Keep.

Decision Points proves once and for all that W is not to blame for anything and even if he did some things that didn't work out like they should, it was still for the best.

He also says hearing Kanye West say in the wake of Katrina that the President hated black people was one of the lowest points of his White House years, which is ridiculous when you consider all the other low points.

Like these, as shown in other (possible) excerpts from the memoir:

5. The Pretzel Thing
"I came to realize that America was no longer a country where a person could be free to eat a pretzel without fear of choking to death. I knew God had put me in the Oval Office to do something about that, but then I realized God had also made me choke on the pretzel. Religion is hard, I decided."

4. Having Rascal Flatts play the White House
"I had hoped they would play some deep album cuts like 'The Day Before You,' but they basically stuck to their hits. Between-songs banter also failed to live up to the estimates my advisers had given me before booking them."

3.Allowing That Goddamn Yellow Rug in the Oval Office
"Yes, Laura wanted it badly. But I ended up wasting valuable time having to relate to every visitor how it conveyed optimism and hope and fuck-all else. This was time I could have spent responding to Katrina." (Note: This passage was ultimately edited from the memoir, for space reasons.)

2. BarneyCam VII


"As difficult as it may be to admit, the critics might have been right: By 2008, we had explored all the cinematic possibilities in this genre. Plus, this one didn't have any WMD jokes, which killed at the White House Correspondents Dinner."

1. Putting Late Registration on my iPod
"It was Cheney's idea. I found the rhymes forced and the beats lame. I told both Cheney and Rumsfeld that Tupac was the way to go, but their analysis and reasoning seemed convincing at the time."


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