Bath Salts As Fake Coke: How Five Movies Would Have Been Different
"Authorities are interested in reports that people are buying a version of the products marketed as 'concentrated bath salts,' not so much for their added relaxation, but instead to get high," the paper reports, although it could've very well said, "Authorities are interested in reports that people are fucking idiots."
Doesn't anyone smoke crack anymore?
If you're looking for a piece of this Epsom cartel, it's "sold in 500-milligram containers and is available locally for $29.99. It is sold behind the counter at some gas stations and head shops....It comes in screw-top jars about an inch high and an inch around." What good is a drug if you can buy it, along with some beef jerky and a Lotto ticket, at the corner Valero? Doesn't anyone suck off strangers in bus station bathrooms for crack money anymore?
What's worse, according to an assistant professor quoted in the story, "bath salts are popular in pro-marijuana circles." What? Where is this assistant professor getting his weed? What self-respecting stoner advocates Morton's-snorting?
What would Pablo Escobar think of this nonsense? Or, for that matter, Tony Montana? Look, drugs -- real drugs -- are cool. Which is why swapping the street product for supermarket product in the following movie scenes would just not work. Let's leave salt on the table, where it belongs.
3. Repo Man
2. The Wire
streetcorner, man? Naw, man. There's games beyond the fucking game. And trust, this shit here keeps your 'fridge smelling fresh and clean."