Rick Perry: Let's Rank The Top 10 Most Wanted

Komachcheet102510.jpg
Gwen Komahcheet: The computers like him, but the coaches poll and strength of schedule....
Rick Perry's office has issued an official release today announcing that "Jose  H. Morales, a member of the Mexican Mafia," has been arrested.

Morales was a member of the states' Top 10 Most Wanted Fugitives list. We don't recall Perry issuing a big press release when other members of that list were arrested -- and a quick search of the archives doesn't reveal any -- but maybe there's something special about this one. Like the words "Mexican" and "mafia."

But how best to milk this? Increase the awards for tips leading to arrests of the Top 10? Nope -- he already did that in April.

Wait a second, though -- by God he has come up with a new wrinkle: Rank those Top 10!!!

And the higher the ranking, the bigger the payoff!

"Increasing these rewards based on the offender's rank on the list will encourage Texans, who have information about the most dangerous individuals in our state, to notify authorities and help bring these criminals to justice," Perry said.

But that's only half the benefit, governor: You think the BCS rankings create a lot of bar talk? Just wait until the call-in shows start debating the Top 10 Most Wanted Fugitives list!!

"Yeah, hi, how you guys doing? I love your show -- "

"Turn down your radio, sir."

"Oh right, sorry -- anyways, How are you guys doing? I love your show and I just want to say there's NO WAY Gwen Komahcheet should be ranked ahead of Ricardo Zuniga. First off, he's got a girl's name, and second of all he's not affiliated with any gang, and Zuniga is affiliated with Barrio Azteca, and they play a much tougher schedule. I'll hang up and listen."

Ranking criminals -- genius move, Governor. Thanks.

Like this Story?

Sign up for the Weekly Newsletter: Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.

Privacy Policy
Sign up for free stuff, news info & more!

Tools

General

Browse Voice Nation
  • Voice Places

    Voice Places

    Discover restaurants, nightlife, travel, shopping...

  • VOICE Daily Deals

    VOICE Daily Deals

    Get 50 to 90% off every day on restaurants, movies, massages...

  • Best Of

    Best Of...

    More than 10,000 of the BEST things to eat, drink, and experience

  • My Voice Nation

    My Voice Nation

    Join the Village Voice community and get exclusive deals and info

  • Happy Hour

    Happy Hour

    Your local Happy Hour guide at your fingertips

or

Log in or Sign up

Social Connect:

Use your favorite account to access My Voice Nation.


Use your My Voice Nation account to log in:





Forgot password?
or

Sign Up or Log in

Social Connect:

Sign up for My Voice Nation with your preferred network.


Sign up for a My Voice Nation account:



Privacy policy