Charlie Sheen vs. Matthew McConnaughey: The Freak-Out Showdown
Onetime actor, current sitcom star Charlie Sheen was taken into custody in New York yesterday after trashing a Plaza Hotel suite, with hookers and other party favors abounding.
Let's examine:
5. Nudity
Sheen: He was clothed, the hooker wasn't, according to reports.
McConnaughey: He was nude, and alone.
Advantage: Tie. Being clothed with a nude hooker or naked by yourself -- doesn't seem much point to either.
4. Drug use
Sheen: The New York Post reported coke, but later reports indicated no drugs. Sheen's rep said he had a bad reaction to medicine, probably the same medicine that Joe Namath had that bad reaction to.
McConnaghey: Accused of weed possession, he denied it. Because who needs to be high to play the bongos naked? The pot charges were later dropped.
Advantage: Tie. Both escape with no drug charges.
3. What they told police
Sheen: Said he had been "out partying."
McConnaughey: From the official police report: "The naked subject saw me after I was already inside and he turned off the radio. He began yelling at us. He said "You can't be in here! Get the fuck out of the house!"
Advantage: While both demonstrate a keen grasp of Ways Not to Talk to Police Officers, McConnaughey has a better understanding of the Fourth and Fifth amendments.
2. The scene of the incident
Sheen: The Plaza Hotel
McConnaughey: This Austin neighborhood
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1. Harm to career
Sheen: This won't be the straw that breaks the camel's back until the inexplicable viewing of Two and a Half Men by the American public finally comes to a close.
McConnaughey: After the incident, went on to star in The Wedding Planner, Sahara and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.
Advantage: Sheen. Obviously, McConnaughey hasn't been seen since his arrest.
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