Charlie Sheen vs. Matthew McConnaughey: The Freak-Out Showdown

Categories: Movies, Television

Onetime actor, current sitcom star Charlie Sheen was taken into custody in New York yesterday after trashing a Plaza Hotel suite, with hookers and other party favors abounding.

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California Penal
It's not bad as these things go, but how does it stand up to Texas' own Matthew McConnaughey's naked-bongo bust 10 years ago?

Let's examine:

5. Nudity
Sheen:
He was clothed, the hooker wasn't, according to reports.
McConnaughey: He was nude, and alone.
Advantage: Tie. Being clothed with a nude hooker or naked by yourself -- doesn't seem much point to either.

4. Drug use
Sheen:
The New York Post reported coke, but later reports indicated no drugs. Sheen's rep said he had a bad reaction to medicine, probably the same medicine that Joe Namath had that bad reaction to.
McConnaghey: Accused of weed possession, he denied it. Because who needs to be high to play the bongos naked? The pot charges were later dropped.
Advantage: Tie. Both escape with no drug charges.

3. What they told police
Sheen:
Said he had been "out partying."
McConnaughey: From the official police report: "The naked subject saw me after I was already inside and he turned off the radio. He began yelling at us. He said "You can't be in here! Get the fuck out of the house!"
Advantage: While both demonstrate a keen grasp of Ways Not to Talk to Police Officers, McConnaughey has a better understanding of the Fourth and Fifth amendments.

2. The scene of the incident
Sheen:
The Plaza Hotel

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McConnaughey: This Austin neighborhood

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Advantage: Sheen. Austin has its charms, but The Plaza? Not to mention he was in the Eloise Suite, which we assume is pretty damn nice. If you're planning to party with hookers.

1. Harm to career
Sheen:
This won't be the straw that breaks the camel's back until the inexplicable viewing of Two and a Half Men by the American public finally comes to a close.
McConnaughey: After the incident, went on to star in The Wedding Planner, Sahara and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.
Advantage: Sheen. Obviously, McConnaughey hasn't been seen since his arrest.


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