The Five Best Halloween Warnings Forwarded By Frantic Moms

Categories: Whatever
halloween101210.jpg
FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!!!
Oooooo -- Halloween!! So scary for young kids!!

And for adults who insist on forwarding every e-mail from some AOL account carrying dire warnings of Halloween horror.

Our five favorites:

5. That candy has crystal meth!!

Subject: HALLOWEEN WARNING
HALLOWEEN WARNING PLEASE READ!!!!

There is a type of crystal meth going around that looks like strawberry pop rocks. It smells like strawberry also and it is being handed out to kids in school yards in AR. I'm sure it will make its way around the country. Kids are ingesting this thinking it is candy and being rushed off to the ER in dire condition.
Not quite. 4. That Chinese candy will kill you!!
Natural-food enthusiasts hate candy made in China because they say it contains huge amounts of melamine, which is bad. This site even offered a handy warning sign to post on your door, with a skull and crossbones and a densely written treatise on the horrors of melamine that we're sure every kid took the time to read.

"Because of this very serious melamine contamination issue, we have decided NOT TO GIVE OUT HALLOWEEN CANDY this year, it says. "EGG OUR HOUSE," it doesn't say, but should.

3. Terrorists are attacking the mall!!
This was big right after 9/11. "My firend's friend was dating a guy from Afghanistan," it goes -- but don't worry, the writer emphasizes she's not the type to jsut pass on e-mail warnings. Unlike half the suburbanites who got this.

2. There's Satan in that candy!!
This technically started out as a column by a Pat Robertson supporter, but since it got forwarded  furiously it qualifies as an e-mail. It's since been taken down by the Christian Broadcasting News website, but the Huffington Post preserved it:

During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."
Christine O'Donnell takes time out from running for the Delaware Senate to pray over candy?

1. Those temp tattoos have LSD in them!!
The legend that a temporary tattoo of a Blue Star contains LSD is so widespread that a webpage tried to collect all the various warnings in one spot. The alleged tattoos get updated regularly, so that warnings include Bart Simpson and whatever else those crazy kids are watching these days.

So if your kid wants a Demi Lovato tattoo, watch her closely. She may start acting like this.
 

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