Allen Henson: A Heartfelt Discussion On A Lap-Dance Rip-Off

Categories: Spaced City
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A lap-dance cri de coeur
Allen Henson is a UH student who's served two stints in Iraq, according to online info. He's also e-published a book about raucous male behavior in the Tucker Max style, and has a website and a Twitter feed.

He's also the victim of lap-dance fraud, he writes to us.

"I've spent my fair share of hard earned American greenbacks to alleviate the financial burdens of beautiful women shaking their assets both at home and abroad." he says. "No matter where you are it's generally the same set-up. Every now and then you get tossed a curveball." Let's let him tell the tale:

It had been sometime since I've been to a strip club. By some time I'm talking about roughly three months. I'd never been to this specific club until this night. It's almost an understandable dilemma. I couldn't say anyone's at fault per se, but I will. The shorthand version is boy meets girl, girl sits on lap, conversation ensues, boy declines lap dance, and conversation continues upon girl's departure she informs boy he owes her $200. I believe the exact statement was, "So how much is good, two hundred?"

In a situation like that your left with two courses of action the snide cliche, "honey, you ain't that pretty, and the conversation's just not that good." or you just pay the girl, not come back, tell your buddies and for some write a nasty little review on Yelp or City Search. Who wants to be the first guy? I do and generally am. The only reason I wasn't was more than likely due to the amount of alcohol I had imbibed already throughout the day.

The understandable part is these girls are working and these poor saps partaking of their services are generally pushovers. I would also go so far as to say if these girls were to say "Hey I'm going to sit with you for an hour but it's going to cost you two hundred dollars they probably wouldn't get as much face time. That's the dilemma. The face-time gets them the dances. And after all we're all just here to make money. Well except for the aforementioned "poor saps."

Generally, a business is defined by its products and or service. A lap-dance is an obvious service traditionally requiring payment. It's pretty cut and dry. However, when a girl sits down and just plays chatty, well advised that an individual isn't really looking for a "lap-dance" there's not a clear service there. This is where the general consumer would feel cheated or taken advantage of. I would guess the resolution is there needs to be clear lines between what a service is and how these transactions are going to go down but without scaring off the potential clientele.

As the consumer whether I'm going to buy a new car, grab a bite to eat at my favorite restaurant, or see a half naked girl shaking it to David Guetta's "Sexy Bitch" we want the best service we can get . we want straight to the point service. I couldn't say anyone's at fault per se, but I will. The Men's Club dropped the ball on this one.
Luckily for us, though, they messed with the wrong guy this time.

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