Strip Club Central: Clear Lake Gears Up To Fight T, A & Umlauts

Not in Clear Lake, please

​A Houston City Councilman and a Clear Lake community association manager are up in arms over what they fear might be a strip club moving into their turf.

Luks Cabaret (it's fancy because it has an umlaut, or it would if we could figure out how to do it) has a website, a building, and a menu -- but it's not open, and the closest the site gets to saying "yep, we're a titty bar" is the promise of providing some of "Houston's most alluring female entertainment."

And of course "female entertainment" could mean anything from the Indigo Girls to an in-store reading by Joan Didion, but the video introduction shows women in g-strings and those transparent hooker-heels Hair Balls loves so much dancing on stages that have poles, so you be the judge.

Leslie Alvarez, Clear Lake City Community Association's General Manager, told the Bay Area Citizen that if Luks does open as a strip club, it would violate the Association's deed restriction.

We couldn't reach the owner, whose name doesn't appear on the website, and the site is registered to a proxy, so we tracked down the building's landlord. Zuhair Adi told us the lease expressly prohibits the building being used as a sexually oriented business. (Adi wouldn't tell us the owner's name, but he said the owner told him the business was to be a sports bar. Maybe "tits and ass" was implied?)

Adi said he wasn't aware of the controversy over the business.

"I need to investigate this," Adi told us. "...He signed on the lease where it says he has to obey by the rules, laws, and regulations of the community association and everybody."

This picture is required for every strip-club article

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But District E Councilman Mike Sullivan is already on the case. He was quoted in the Bay Area Citizen as saying, "We want [a business] that will fit into the character of the community, and residents and businesses have a right to expect that."

According to Luks' website, "the principals and creative minds behind" the endeavor "have nearly three decades of expertise in the industry." They claim to have run "the longest continually-operating cabaret" on Bourbon Street, which they say was closed on 2008.

The menu looks extensive, with everything from bacon & eggs to turtle cheesecake. Oh, and possibly tits.