Apparently The Noid Was Unavailable for Questioning

Photo by Michael Ruff

​No one can tell when a hot wing jones will overcome them. You might be sitting on the couch, watching a Saved by the Bell marathon, when bam, you get the fierce craving for spicy Buffalo goodness. When we've been broke and this happened, we've done some crazy things, like pour ranch sauce on our fingers and contemplate cannibalism, but we've never robbed anyone for wings at gunpoint.

But that's exactly what happened to one dude in Beaumont last Monday night. Around 9 p.m., a Domino's employee was delivering a pizza and wings when a man suddenly appeared and stuck a gun in the pizza man's face.

According to the Beaumont Enterprise, "police said the suspect cocked the hammer and pointed the gun at the driver's head. The suspect then took the pizza and hot wings, which cost about $15." (We hope the cash won't come out of the poor guy's check).

Citing police, the paper said the robber was "described as a 21-year-old black man, about 5'9", with a skinny build....He was wearing a red Lamar pullover and Jordan tennis shoes and was armed with a silver semiautomatic handgun, possible a 9 mm." Since the robber was described as "skinny," we assume that this was his first pizza-related crime.

Because police reports take 24 to 48 hours to be entered into the system, Hair Balls was unable to get further details, such as the toppings on the pizza, and whether or not it was deep-dish. We were also unable to determine the spiciness of the wings. But we hope the robber choked on a bone.