TUTS Will Cum On, And It Will Feel The Noize

​TUTS has announced its selections for the upcoming season, and there's a bit of a surprise.

No, we're not getting a Sondheim show. You know better than that.

But among the shows is Rock of Ages, which is a campy -- and loud -- salute to `80s hair bands. (At the Tony Awards, Bret Michaels joined the cast for a song, and famously had a scenery mishap.

The show features "Cum on Feel the Noize" and "We're Not Gonna Take It" and such stuff; Hair Balls can't say we're big fans of the originals, but the cast album is actually kind of fun.

But TUTS famously plays to what it's admitted is a "blue-hair" audience, so it'll be interesting to see the grandmas rocking out to "Sister Christian."

TUTS is confident:

Break out your leather, shred your jeans, pump up your mall-bangs and get ready for the critically acclaimed, five-time Tony Award nominated Broadway musical Rock Of Ages! This arena-rock love story is told through the mind-blowing, face-melting hits of Journey, Night Ranger, Styx, Whitesnake and many more. Don't miss this full-force music-fest of hair-metal, mayhem and spandex-clad manhood.

Also on tap this coming season:

Hairspray, Billy Elliott and three Houston premieres: 9 to 5, Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Curtains.

Hairspray, of course, is from the John Waters movie; Billy Elliott is a somewhat fresher production, with music by Elton John, about a coal miner's son who years to dance!! (Although there's apparently a good anti-Margaret Thatcher song in it, so it's got that going for it.)

9 to 5 and Grinch are pretty much self-explanatory; Curtains is a murder-mystery musical that has a Kander & Ebb score and starred David Hyde Pierce on Broadway.

The season, TUTS' 43rd, begins in October.