Suck On It, New York!! Houston Has Direct Flights To Branson, Missouri!!

​In case you've been experiencing the typical Houstonian's self-doubt about whether or not we're really a sophisticated metropolis, you can relax.

Houston is now one of only five American cities with direct flights to Branson, Missouri. On real planes, too!

You didn't think he would do "Moon River," but then bam -- second encore!!

Branson Air will fly charters out of Hobby starting in May. Non-stop, muthafuckaz. The new service is part of ExpressJet Airlines, the same wonderful people who fly as Continental Express. (Note: Don't read this unless you want to have your parameters of "wonderful" broadened.)

Who are the other four major metropolises to be so blessed? One is Austin, which has a natural music connection -- one's the Live Music Capital of the World, the other's the Live Music Capital of the Early-Bird Special.

The rest of the cities? Big time, baby.
They include, according to the Houston Business Journal, Des Moines, which is the largest city in Iowa; Shreveport, which is one of the five or six biggest cities in Louisiana, and Terre Haute, Indiana, which....which....is the largest city in the Greater Terre Haute Metropolitan Area.

Dallas? San Francisco? Boston? On the outside looking in.

For a taste of what's in store, head to the Branson webpage. Just under the "O" listing for shows, you have the Osmonds AND the Oak Ridge Boys. One need look no further than that, sir.

But if you think otherwise and are still unconvinced, know this: Yes, Yakov Smirnoff is still in town.