Turkeys Of The Past: 2003 Edition

Categories: Cover Story
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We're about a week away from the always highly anticipated Turkey of the Year award issue. There's absolutely no telling who will walk away with the coveted honor this year, because for the love of Christ there have been a ton of worthy nominees.

It's our seventh annual list; in the days leading up to it we'll go on a bit of a nostalgic trip to days of yore.

Today: 2003!! The first list of all!!

We could put in a link to it, but we want to see if you can remember that glorious year's picks without clicking or Googling. Prize: None.

1. This overall winner has gone on to be the most-honored person ever. What Edith Head was to the Oscars, he/she is to the Turkeys.
a) Tom DeLay
b) Tom DeLay
c) Tom DeLay
d) Anyone other than Tom DeLay
2. Why did Houston state senator John Whitmire win an award that year?
a) Something about cell phones and TDCJ inmates
b) Cratering in a holdout over DeLay's redistricting scheme, in which 11 Democratic senators left the state to camp out in Oklahoma and New Mexico
c) Explaining he had done so because "I've just always really wanted the nickname 'John Quitmire,' and I finally figured out how to get it"
d) Continually playing OutKast's "Hey Ya" on the Senate floor

3. Municipal Judge Roxane Martinez made the list for:
a) Telling a defendant "You're guilty -- of looking damn sexy."
b) Using a city computer to jump on the big trend of 2003, updating your MySpace page
c) Getting into a fight at an eastside dancehall
d) For writing an elegantly written but misguided defense of the sixth amendment

4. The Sports Turkey of the year came from:
a) The Astros
b) The Rockets
c) The Comets
d) No one; all of Houston's teams and players performed impeccably that year.

 Ah, what the hell. Don;t wrack yer brain. Here's the link with the answers.
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