Glee: How We've Missed You!

Glee is on! Wait, Glee is on? I've forgotten what it's like for this show to actually air new episodes, what with all the baseball.

Last night's ep, "Wheels," opened up with Quinn all depressed at being off the Cheerios and having to pay baby bills. But she decided to shove all that work on Finn, which, way to be! Finn, presumably scared of letting her down, eats the shit sandwich she feeds him and feels terrible. In a nice series of transitions, the action shifts from Sue talking to the weird blogger kid and then to Will trying to wrangle cash for a bus rental from the principal. So that's Will's problem this week: Money! Again!

When Will tells the glee club they'll be performing "Defying Gravity" from Wicked, Mercedes complains about the whiteness of the act, saying, "What we need is my chocolate thunder." On one hand, way to stand up; on the other, ew. Let's refine our metaphors. The hang-up with the bus is Artie, whose wheelchair makes transportation a problem. He got his first solo right after, with a really cute montage set to a jazzy cover of "Dancing With Myself" as he wheeled around the school.

But holy Saved by the Bell, guys! Will got all motivatey and told the glee kids that to help them understand Artie's plight, they'd have to spend a few hours a day in a wheelchair over the next week. Sure enough, when they were in the chairs, people bumped into them! So there's that.

Kurt got shot down by Will when he tried to audition for the solo on "Defying Gravity," so Kurt's dad came to his son's defense and kicked up some dirt with Will and the principal. Will agreed to let Kurt and Rachel audition for the rest of the club, with the kids deciding who got the job.

Then blah blah the principal made Sue have open auditions for the Cheerios slot formerly held by Quinn. Sue wound up accepting Becky, a young girl with Down syndrome, which right away made Will suspicious. And me too. There's a fine line between casting and exploiting, you know? I get wary. Of course, the same could be said of people in wheelchairs. I guess I'm a hypocrite.

Finn and Puck totally fought! It was kind of hot, I won't lie. Puck was pissed about Finn's whining, and Finn was tired of being stressed. I was surprised Puck didn't pull a blade.

Then it was time for the diva-off, with Kurt and Rachel singing "Defying Gravity." I knew she'd be good, but he was pretty impressive, too. Have you heard that song? It's high! He tanked the high note at the end, though, and Rachel was just too good.

Puck made his offer of family and security again to Quinn, and though she didn't accept him right away, she didn't turn him down, either. Watching Finn wheel up and cart her off was killer, though. It's obvious that Finn and Rachel will get together, as will Puck and Quinn, but it better not take too long. There's no sense dragging it out past the point it makes sense.

Will got the cash for the bus because Puck rigged their bake sale with pot cupcakes, but Artie asked to use it for a handicap ramp, but they got to put it toward a bus anyway when Will found out that Sue had written a check to the school for three new ramps. His confusion was priceless -- "Do you think she has a brain tumor? That can explain erratic behavior." -- but it turned out that, not too surprisingly, Sue has an older sister who's handicapped. She visited her in a nursing facility and read her a story, and it was the sweetest thing she's ever done.

Artie kissed the girl I thought was gay! Then she confessed she's been faking her stutter! It was kind of a lot to take in, but Artie blew her off on principle, since he can't change his condition like she can. Um, okay.

Finale: "Proud Mary," full of rolling/wheel puns, with the kids performing in chairs. No way at all they'd be able to wheel around like that and sing, but still, a cute moment. Overall, it was a strong episode. Here's hoping the show stays on track.

Line of the night: Artie, discussing his wheelchair status: "I want to be very clear: I still have the use of my penis."

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