How To Grab The Reader's Attention

​The Texans and the New Orleans Saints have been practicing together this week, and yesterday they got into some scraps.

Houston Chronicle reporter John McClain ably summed things up with this lede on his story:

"The Texans and New Orleans Saints spent so much time fighting during Thursday's morning practice they could have been filming a movie -- Fight Club."

Boy, that probably took a lot of effort. We're kinda surprised he didn't go with something like "There were so many unfamiliar players on the field yesterday, the Texans needed A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints."

But we think McClain has stumbled onto journalism gold here. Any developments with the team should be matched with a blindingly obvious movie reference.

"The newest Texan, Brian Cushing, just might be starring in a movie -- The Rookie."

"When the coaches start making their cuts and telling players they haven't made the team, it will be like He's Just Not That Into You, except about football."

"If quarterback Matt Schaub's name was Matt Huckabee, coach Gary Kubiak would be in the movie I Heart Huckabees."

"As the Texans get ready for this week's game against Tennessee, they better Remember the Titans -- especially the Titans' defense."

"The Texans are getting ready to play the Colts. On The Day After Tomorrow."

We could go on, but there's nothing left in The Notebook.