Look Out, (Really Minor) Lawbreakers: There's A Warrant Sweep Today
HPD is having another of its occasional warrant round-ups, where they knock on doors or storm into cubicle farms to arrest hapless citizens who are merely trying to get away with not paying a ticket.
"We prefer those individuals with warrants to avoid the embarrassment of an officer coming to their workplace or home to arrest them in front of their coworkers or family members," said HPD Assistant Chief John Trevino.
Thousands of Houstonians could be affected. You never know who'll get lucky.
How bad can it get?
There are various stages of hell with this.
5. You get pulled over for something. They run a check, and you're nabbed.
4. They come to your house and get you. This sucks because you're chilling at your house, you're probably incredibly underdressed, and you're going to miss your Judge Judy rerun.
3. They come to your workplace. You get to do the perp walk immortalized by Charlie Sheen in Wall Street. Try not to cry.
2. They get you at your kid's Vacation Bible School presentation of Little Jesus & The Ugly Duckling. Again, try not to cry.
1. Worst of all -- any of numbers two through four, except you're being taped by a news crew following along. We suggest going the full Cops route, and start cursing out "that bitch" who won't give you beer money. Just seems the traditional thing to do.