Don't Start The Long Weekend Too Early

If you make it until noon without coming up with some decent excuse for "needing to work outside the office," you're either a stronger or less imaginative person than most.

But don't completely ditch the routine. Hair Balls will begin marking the Memorial Day weekend with such things as the five best war-movie deaths and the touching story of a local woman heading to Pearl Harbor to spread her dad's ashes there.

We won't be all somber, of course. To start things off we'll be offering a sample of babes in bikinis eating food, to get you ready for any barbecues on your schedule.

So don't leave without checking it all out.

Then leave.

Quietly, so no one will notice.