Read My Lips. My Freakishly Colored Lips.

Categories: Crime

The FBI always comes up with cool names for bank robbers, and the G-Men (and G-Women) didn't let Hair Balls down today: following a robbery at the midtown Wachovia Bank this mornings, authorities nabbed a suspect with freakishly colored lips. And now the FBI thinks he might be "Read My Lips" - a unique fellow who robbed two other Midtown banks this week.

"This suspect has a condition causing his lips to have unusual coloration, and investigation is ongoing to determine if he is 'Read My Lips,'" an FBI spokesperson stated in an e-mail this morning.

Hair Balls doesn't expect a battle of the brains here, as any dude who doesn't cover up a glaringly obvious defect / tattoo / odor before pulling off a heist isn't exactly a supervillain. We're confident the FBI will have this thing sorted out in a jiffy. But still, if you have information about this case, call the Crime Stoppers tip line at 713-222-TIPS (8477).


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