Memo Re: Slap Shot Remake

Categories: Sports

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TO: President, Universal Pictures

FROM: Script Department

RE: Slap Shot Remake

We received a copy of Peter Steinfeld's (21) first draft for the planned Slap Shot remake. Before we pass it on to the director currently attached to this project (Dean Parisot, Fun With Dick and Jane), we thought we would give you a brief summary of the updated plot, plus some planned casting suggestions.

As you might recall, the original movie was set in an aging, depressed steel town in the Iron Belt. The Charlestown Chiefs were a minor league hockey team, based in the Federal League, who were a pretty mediocre team that was not drawing fans. When it was announced that the steel mill was going to close, the owner announced that he was going to fold the team at the end of the season. Worried about his future, coach Reggie Dunlop turned his guys into a team of thugs and ruffians in an attempt to pump up attendance and get the new team a new owner.

The original film was rated "R." It was quite profane, there was female nudity, and lots of violence. We would like to tone the film down a bit, and we think that Steinfeld's updated script has the goods for a PG-13 at the least. He's changed a few things. The team is now the Quad City Flames of the American Hockey League, which is one step under the NHL - the NHL is the uppermost league of professional hockey. The Flames don't draw, and they are in danger of being moved to Canada. Because of the current economic climate, we've decided that it is for the best to dump the whole dying town bit. We don't want to depress anybody.

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For casting, we were thinking that Russell Crowe might be a good idea for the Paul Newman role of Reggie Dunlop. Crowe's already played a hockey player before in Mystery, Alaska, and he's got quite the reputation as a brawler. As the young offensive star Ned Braden, played by Michael Ontkean in the original, we were thinking of that John Krasinki guy from The Office. And you're going to like the synergy here, because we were thinking that Steve Carell, who plays Krasinki's boss on The Office, would be perfect for the role of sportscaster Jim Carr. And for general manager Joe McGrath, the thinking down here was that we try for Burt Reynolds - he and Crowe have worked together before, so there might be some good chemistry to play with.

Now we're going a bit out of the box for this next part, but we think you'll like it. The cult stars of the original were the Hanson Brothers - two brothers and a cousin who played three brothers in the film. The Hansons were bad skaters who couldn't do much on offense but were great brawlers. We were thinking that we would get Adam Sandler for these parts. Hey, a little makeup and CGI and he could play all three at the same time. And if you've seen Happy Gilmore you know that he likes hockey. We're pretty confident that a combination of Adam Sandler, Russell Crowe, Steve Carell, and John Krasinki just screams box office success.

There are several more key roles that must still be cast. We were thinking that David Boreanaz would be perfect for the role of Dave "Killer" Carlson. We also thought Marisa Tomei might be a good idea to play Francine Dunlop, the ex-wife of Russell Crowe. And we were thinking of Zooey Deschanel for the role of Lily Braden, who is John Krasinki's wife.

We've also been asking around, and we're pretty sure we can get Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Denis Leary to sign on for small roles. And there's hockey player, Sean Avery, who's known as a bit of a ladies man as well as having a bit of foul mouth, who we think we might be able to get to play one of the bad guys.

We're confident that with the toned-down language and violence and with this all-star cast that we're looking at a huge box office hit.

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