Ralph Macchio: The One and Only Karate Kid

Categories: Pop Rocks
No, my God, NO! There is only one Daniel LaRusso and his name is Ralph “Stone Fox” Macchio!

Such was my reaction when I heard word this week that Will Smith’s nauseatingly adorable son Jaden is scheduled to remake the classic 80s film The Karate Kid. Now I have nothing against Will Smith’s kid (although I do think a little nepotism must be at work here), but such news is enough to make me want to crane kick my computer (or at least drink a little sake).

Not to sound like Mr. Belding, but hey, hey, hey what is going on here? Does Hollywood have nothing better to do than remake such oldies but goodies as Melrose Place, 90210, Footloose, Karate Kid, etc? I swear to you, if Miley Cyrus is recast at Claire Standish in Breakfast Club: This Time It’s Personal, I’m going to go ape shit. What’s next? The Jonas Brothers in License to Drive The Musical? Ashley Tisdale and Corbin Bleu in Dirty Dancing: Baby’s Revenge?

Shit, they’re even remaking Red Dawn. Look, I know Putin scared the shit out of Sarah Palin and all, but I don’t know if that’s enough of a reason to remount this Cold War classic.

Children of this generation deserve their own heroes and their own cultural touchstones, not rehashes of those belonging to former teenagers.

Plus, only my sweetie pie Ralph is cute enough to pull off “Wax on, wax off.” – Jennifer Mathieu

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