Missing NASA Tool Bag Found! Launch A Rescue Mission!
And no, not by that nut from Minnesota who's been calling media outlets all over to say the bag is up for sale on eBay.
It's been found in space, streaking through the night.
An amateur astronomer in Ontario used info released by the military on the bag's orbit and filmed it streaking through the night.
It's not exactly Thomas Pynchon's screaming coming across the sky, but the video does show a surprisingly bright object moving quickly among the stars.
And a Canadian television news show says it's the bag, so that's good enough for us.
Look at the bag while you can -- its orbit is expected to deteriorate, and eventually it'll get sucked in by earth's gravity and burn up in the atmosphere.
It will not end up on eBay.
-- Richard Connelly