Balls...Hair Balls: Bond's Best Five Non-Villain Deaths

Along with shaken martinis, Walther PPKs, and Aston-Martins, the James Bond franchise is know for numerous and -- at times -- hilarious deaths. We'll take a look at the demises of the various evil masterminds a little later, but for now here are some of the more memorable non-villain deaths.

5. Baron Samedi (Geoffrey Holder) - Live and Let Die (1973)

AKA The Best Death that Wasn't (he shows up laughing on the train right before the closing credits). It's hard to ignore the political ramifications of this clip, as America might very well have elected a black man President 20 years sooner if not for the salacious imagery of a half-naked Voodoo priest menacing pretty white Jane Seymour with a freaking python.

4. Fisher (Daud Shah) - Casino Royale (2006)

It takes two kills to earn "00" status. It also takes at least one, apparently, to do it without getting all sweaty and gross.

3. Emile Locque (Michael Gothard) - For Your Eyes Only (1981)

Of course they wait until Roger Moore is eligible for Social Security to give him a non-goofy Bond movie. Kicking Locque's car into the drink is pretty brutal for the usually dandy Moore; luckily they allowed him his characteristic Bond mot at the end.

2. Teresa "Tracy" Bond (Diana Rigg) - On Her Majesty's Secret
Service (1969)

Oh 007, will you ever find true happiness? The answer, delivered here with extreme prejudice through a windshield, is "no."

1. Jill Masterson (Shirley Eaton) - Goldfinger (1964)

Masterson's death established the now-familiar fate awaiting the first woman Bond sleeps with in any given movie, and suffocating someone with gold paint has a lot more panache than, say, dumping them in a shark tank. Also note how they strategically avoid showing her gilded
derriere.

-- Pete Vonder Haar