Astros Sign New Closer

Categories: Sports
Well, someone just told me the Astros signed a free-agent pitcher named Lo. Which had me really excited because I thought he meant free agent pitcher Derek Lowe, who would make a lot of sense for the Astros.

Then I was told no, that it wasn't Derek Lowe, but J-Lo.

And I thought, well, the Astros pitching is that bad, but I've seen nothing to indicated that Jennifer Lopez can throw a fastball. But my friend said no, not J-Lo, Chia-Jin Lo, from Taiwan.

And I went, huh?

Apparently, the newest Astro is 22 years old. He's a native of Taiwan, and he's never played any form of professional baseball. He has pitched internationally for Taiwan, however. Supposedly, he's got a fastball that tops out at 96-mph and a wicked curve.

But he's a closer.

What do the Astros need with another closer? Their problems are with starting pitching.

I guess we'll find out more this afternoon after the Astros hold their press conference. But color me less than enthused. The guy sounds like a reach. And if the Astros were going to go for a reach, I would have preferred J-Lo. At least she might look cute in an Astros uniform.

Then again, it would have been better had they signed Derek Lowe. -- John Royal

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