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After all the hype of the past week leading up to Black Friday, we decided to venture out into the world of massive sales and astronomical blowouts and deeply discounted electronics.

But where'd you all go? Did we miss all of you? Did you already head home to make Turkey Helper?

We drove over to Rice Village this afternoon. Nothing doing. Parking spots were relatively plentiful, meaning you didn't have to stalk some poor lady drinking a latte as she walked out to her SUV. The stores looked just as busy as they would be on a typical Saturday. Even all the usual suspects along the way seemed just ho-hum.

If there's one day when putting out a paper version of the newspaper is really important, it's Thanksgiving. Over at the Houston Chronicle, customer service rep Cathy Elizondo tells Hair Balls that the paper sells more advertising for that edition than any other day of the year.

Readers call the paper weeks in advance, Elizondo says, to make sure they'll be delivered an issue stuffed full of all those ads needed to gear up for Black Friday. In fact, Thanksgiving is such a big day for the Chronicle that deliveries are made to customers not scheduled to get a paper on Thursdays.

So when the deliveries were several hours late yesterday and readers started calling to complain, Elizondo says it was expected.

You can make Black Friday more meaningful by putting your shopping dollars to good use at local non-profits and independent stores.

Freak out your drunk friends with a set of Ghost Goblets. These hand-blown tumblers feature a wineglass inside. Get these, along with other arty presents, at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston gift shop. 1001 Bissonnet. For information, call 713-639-7300 or visit www.mfah.org.

Support an independent bookstore when you shop at Brazos Books. You'll find all the titles currently on top of the Indie Bestseller list (sort of a poor man's New York Times Best Seller list), including Toni Morrison's A Mercy and P.D. James's The Private Patient. 2421 Bissonnet. For information, call 713-523-0701 or visit www.brazosbookstore.com.

Five months after a Goodyear employee died following an explosion at a tire and rubber chemical plant in southeast Houston, the feds have issued a rash of citations to the factory for failing to safeguard its workers. But when it's all said and done, the fines would cost the company less than $70,000.

The U.S. Department of Labor's Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) began its investigation in June after a piece of equipment fatally struck a worker. A valve was improperly closed, preventing a device from releasing pressure as it built up.

I understand that yesterday was Thanksgiving, and that we're supposed to be all thankful and everything. But seriously, did any of you watch those football games? How can a person be thankful after being subjected to nearly 11 hours of blow-out football? So in that spirit, I've put together a list of nine things for which I'm not thankful, along with one item for which I am thankful.

9. The very special holiday-themed network NFL pregame shows.

8. No 30 Rock, and The Office was a repeat.

Reindeer, Carmen Miranda, Mrs. Claus and Santa himself flew into town yesterday, and Daniel Kramer got plenty of pics. - KP

 

Every year, we scour the papers and Internet looking for Houston's definitive guide to spectacular residential Christmas lights displays, and every year, what we find what comes up a little lacking. A handful of neighborhoods are invariably cited, and we've already been to most of them. There's the Prestonwood subdivision near 249 and 1960, Scott Terrace off Scott between Yellowstone and O.S.T., and Shepherd Park Plaza / Candlelight Plaza, near Ella and W. 43rd. River Oaks, Woodland Heights, Hermann Park, Highland Village, Uptown and Galveston's Moody Gardens also get some love in most of the round-ups.

To our (admittedly tacky) taste, River Oaks is a bit dull, colorless and staid, while those last four don't count. Parks, attractions and shopping districts belong to a separate category of Christmas light-viewing. Surely there are more of these rabidly holiday-crazed, Trans-Siberian Orchestra-blaring neighborhoods (or even single incredible houses) out there in the H-Town sprawl. What are your favorites?

- John Nova Lomax

If there's one thing we know for sure, it's that The Man wants to control every aspect of American culture - including how we celebrate Christmas. The Man made Jesus white, even though J.C. was born in the mid-east. The three wise men? White, white, and white. Frosty the Snowman? Yup, you guessed it. But Jeffery Bradley, owner of Dallas-based NetNia Publishing, has drawn the line at Santa Claus. So he created Black Santa.

As Bradley writes on blacksantamagicletters.com, "One day I was searching the Internet and came across websites offering letters from Santa Claus you can personalize yourself....One problem: I wanted to send letters that reflect my culture. I spent hours searching for letters with an African-American Santa Claus with no avail. But, I did find a solution to my problem. Here's what I did. I downloaded images of white Santa Claus to my computer and using a simple Windows graphics program, I meticulously change the white Santa Claus to a black Santa Claus, including the elves [sic]. Then I opened my word processor and wrote my own letter. I added Santa and the elves."

Low-riders, art cars, SpongeBob, Santa Claus, D-list celebs, marching bands, stick-fighting Sikhs and plump Shriners in souped-up go-carts -- where else could it be but the HEB Thanksgiving Day Parade? And although we lack quality photographic proof -- amazingly, even Sheila Jackson Lee was there. Seriously!

So, the boss made you come in the day after Thanksgiving, huh? Yeah, and we're guessing there isn't a whole lot to do seeing as how everyone else's boss gave them the day off. (Luckily for us, the news never rests! ... or something.)

Well, nod off not, Internet friends. Hair Balls is here with links to Web sites to help pass (read: waste) time until your boss says "Hey, since you came in the day after Thanksgiving, why don't you leave an hour early." Really, a whole hour? You shouldn't have. (WARNING: Remember to keep a second window open to something work-related, so when the boss comes up, you can just click over.) Happy surfing ... pending you're not blocked by firewalls.