Tunnel Mole Assesses The Post-Ike Depths

Well, there's hot glazed, check it and see

It only costs about a hundred and three (cents)

Come on baby, do you do more than slide (down my Ike-starved gullet)?

It's hot glazed; hot glazed

(Apologies to Foreigner, who should apologize to us in the first place for that horrible '70s song)

Tunnel Mole is abashed to have previously posted a snarky bit about crowds, amblers and posses in the tunnel -- annoying, all. Because nothing's worse -- save Ike precluding the world-famous hummingbird festival -- than NO crowds in the tunnel, at all. At whom to get annoyed?

That's how the tunnels are today. Weirdly, sadly empty. It's a bit misleading: Most of the tunnel establishments are like a Republican candidate for VP: brightly lit and decorated, but no one's home.

Some places have little signs saying "Due to inclement weather, we will be closed until Monday." Well, folks, it's Tuesday, and it's pretty outside, and where ARE your wimpy asses?? None of the tunnel lost power during the storm; the lines are all underground, according to one clerk at the convenience store next to Droubi's.

Ironically -- okay, fittingly -- the Farmers Home Insurance office underneath the Esperson buildings was open for a few hours, with a couple eager agents ready to help. But the office was otherwise empty, so that's where the irony comes in. C'mon folks, take your fence and ripped-up siding needs downtown; you'll get a jump on the crowds!! Call 1-800-435-7764. If you go in the tunnel, they have an agent's cell phone posted too.

Upstairs in the Niels Esperson building, an Allstate Insurance Co. office was open. Terri Szabo of Allstate suggested insured folks go ahead and file claims, just to get it on the record, if they suffered any damage. (In some cases, the deductible might not be worth filing a claim, but wouldn't we all love to be insured against the loss of power?) Those covered under Allstate can call 1-800-54-STORM.

Back in the tunnel, one Treebeard's has a long, involved notice saying all their locations -- above and below ground -- are open EXCEPT the one you're looking at. Never fear; you can still get your Cajun groove on: Ragin' Cajun was prepping to open for lunch. On the same food court underneath 1001 McKinney, Prince's was good to go.

But the first and best to come back up was SHIPLEY'S!!! On our lengthy junket through the tunnel system, the only other people we saw had big, loopy smiles on their faces -- and bulging bags from Shipley's Donuts. And they were all too happy to provide directions. That's what I call folks coming together during a disaster.

We got hot glazed so good it'll make you wanna slap Hurricane Ike's mama.

-- Tunnel Mole


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