Our Application For Texas Poet Laureate
We know nothing about music or art of any dimension, but dammit, we want that laureate job.
It must come with quite the cushy office in Austin. Lots of poet groupies. And nothing more strenuous than tossing out the occasional poem.
We can do that. And we can certainly celebrate the greatness of the Lone Star State in doing so.
There once were some people from Jasper
Who thought black folks were just a disaster
They got them a truck
And said what the fuck
And showed that "new slave" who was master
Yeah, yeah, you're right, that's terrible. "Jasper" doesn't even rhyme with "disaster."
How about this?
I once met a girl from El Campo
Whose panties were always quite damp-o
She took on all guys
No matter their size
She really was quite the El Trampo
Wait, wait -- don't cast your ballots just yet. We couldn't enter this thing without extolling the beauty that is the Houston area:
If you visit the county of Harris
You'll know right away it's not Paris
The refineries gleam
But oy! Does it seem
That their smell is just meant to embarrass
Hmmm. Maybe we should butter up the boss.
Governor Rick Perry's hair
Looks like it shouldn't be there
Its bright, shiny sheen
Must certainly mean
That he spends too much time on its care
We appreciate your support.
-- Richard Connelly