I Watched Eight Minutes of the VMAs Just To See What Brit Would Do

Categories: Pop Rocks
Okay, so I just watched eight minutes of the Video Music Awards (and that’s all I’m gonna watch because whatever I’m old and I don’t care anymore). Anyway, I literally ran to the living room, wrestled the remote away from Mr. Pop Rocks and turned on MTV at 7:59.

My thoughts…I thought the Jonah Hill and Britney banter was cute, but let’s be honest. Jonah carried that whole scene and all Britney had to do was act lucid and smile. Oh Hell, she pulled that off, and I suppose for that we should all be grateful and perhaps even a little surprised. Overall, a funny little bit.

Then they escorted her out. I can’t decide about her dress. Her bod is rockin’ (and, quite frankly was rockin’ last year even as she stumbled around in her Demerol-induced coma), but I thought the dress was a little 1999. I would love to see Brit in a vintage number or something really classy. She can pull it off if she tries.

She seemed a touch nervous and who can blame her? There she was in front of all of her peers, the memory of her incredibly depressing and shitty performance from last year still lingering in the room like a drunk after last call. I’m sure for her it was like showing up to your place of employment the day after the holiday party where you passed out on top of the conference room table with a hunk of fruitcake squeezed between your thighs.

At any rate, despite holding the mike directly in front of her face, she delivered her lines smoothly and without issue. Then Rihanna appeared dressed like Mad Max. Whatever. I turned it off.

God, it feels good to care about Britney again. -- Jennifer Mathieu

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