Smoove B Robs A Kroger's

Categories: Spaced City
DJ, cue up "Smooth Operator."

The FBI is at it again with the nicknames, this time branding a guy "The Flirting Felon."

Why? Just because he robbed a Kroger's bank of an unannounced amount of cash. Oh, and he charmed the pants off the employees doing it, at least according to the FBI.

The feds go into a detailed critique of the guy's seduction methods and find them somewhat wanting:

At approximately 7:11p.m., the "Flirting Felon" entered the bank and then nervously walked out of the bank after being greeted by the tellers. Minutes later, the "Flirting Felon" returned with confidence and attempted to strike up a conversation with one of the tellers. He opened the conversation with "Hey Little Mamma, What's up?" When the conversation went nowhere, the "Flirting Felon" calmly demanded cash from the teller. He then stated "I want to make this a smooth transaction so no one gets hurt!" The tellers complied and the "Flirting Felon" left the area with the cash on foot. No one was physically hurt during the robbery.

So remember guys -- if you're trying to score, it's important to look confident. No lady wants a nervous nellie. According to the FBI.

-- Richard Connelly

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