Houston News Blog

Anyone who has experienced identity theft knows that there is no simple way to clear it up; there is no one-call-solves-all approach and that, in fact, it may take weeks, months or even years to get your life straightened out.

Bestselling murder mystery writer Jeffery Deaver taps into this for his latest fast-paced Lincoln Rhyme story and gives it a twist: what if someone is stealing other people’s identities not necessarily to make money, but to enjoy a) killing people and b) making other people miserable by unending their lives?

What with all this “extreme weather” we’re having lately (read that as global climate change wreaking havoc on our oil gluttonous-lifestyles of which I am personally totally guilty…but I digress)…anyway, what with all this “extreme weather” we’re having lately, I can’t help but wander on over to The Weather Channel once in a while. Feel free to make fun of me, but you know when the thunder starts rolling, you, too are counting the clock until it’s time to check out the thrill-a-minute “Local on the 8s.”

First of all, the music. That soft jazz shit they play makes Sunny 99.1 seem like it’s busting out skate punk. Would it kill them to play, oh, The Beatles or even early James Taylor while they flick that radar past us? Hey, they could even play songs about the weather. There are only twenty bajillion songs about raindrops, including “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head” by B.J. Thomas and “Rainy Days and Mondays” by Richard and Karen “I’m So Skinny!” Carpenter.

Of late, even a cursory perusal of the B-section of the Houston Chronicle reveals a disturbing trend. Gang crime, of the most odious sort.

In today’s paper alone, there are accounts of three MS-13 members accused of stabbing Ernesto Garcia to death on Wednesday. Three other gangbangers shot up a house on the southeast side, killing one teenaged girl and wounding another. Yesterday’s paper carried an account of the sentencing of yet another gangster, this one in the docket for shooting an unarmed Hindu gentleman in the head.

And so on, and on, and on…The thing is, whenever you see these gangster types on TV, there’s one word they use over and over: “It’s all about respect,” they claim.

And respect’s opposite: the diss. Like it as not, at least two out of the three incidents above were the result of some sort of diss. These run the gamut from severe to trivial, with senseless killing the result often as not for one as much as the other. Hell, a few months ago some guy in town killed his friend for “dissing his dog.”

Texas photographer Marilyn Davenport smooth-talked her way in to the Neon Museum’s boneyard in Las Vegas a while back and took pictures of the retired signs that live there. The resulting exhibit, “Modern Jackpot: Vintage Vegas Signs by Marilyn Davenport,” will soon be on display at the Museum of Printing History. For those who can't wait, we've loaded up a sneak peek of "Vintage Vegas Signs."

The exhibit opens July 1, with an official reception from 6 to 8 p.m. on Thursday, July 10. Regular viewing hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesdays through Saturdays. Through September 13. 1324 West Clay. For information, call 713-522-4652 or visit www.printingmuseum.org. Free. – Olivia Flores Alvarez

I admit I’ve done my fair share of whining with regard to Denise Richards. But when it comes to Denise’s ex, Charlie Sheen, all I can say is…wow. He’s an asshole.

It’s recently come to light that in 2005, Mr. Men at Work left a series of totally horrible voice mail messages on Denise’s machine, including one where he calls Denise a fucking liar and then calls her the N word. (And I don’t mean nerd.)

My first memory of Charlie Sheen is drooling over him during his famous cameo in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” He played the bad boy criminal Jennifer Grey’s character kisses while waiting in the police station, and as soon as I saw that scene, I knew I was destined to make a series of terrible romantic decisions involving bad boys throughout my late teens and early twenties! (By the way, I tried everywhere to find a clip of Sheen’s scene in “Ferris Bueller” and could only come up with photos.)

It’s weird. For a time, it’s like we all expected Charlie to be an important actor like his dad, and for a time, he seemed to be going down that path. We had “Wall Street” and “Platoon,” for instance. But something must have happened along the way, because then came “Hot Shots” (which I saw in the theater, by the way…ouch), “The Chase,” the Scary Movie franchise, and now this cheeseball television series where he and Ducky from “Sixteen Candles” are apparently lovers and are raising a fat kid together. (Not sure if that’s the actual premise for the show since I’ve never seen it, but that’s how it comes across in commercials.)

U.S. Congressman John Culberson, 7th District of Texas, sent out a note this afternoon reporting that the “Democrat led Congress has finally passed a responsible Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, (FISA), that President Bush can sign.”

His note also included this snappy statement: “I am not worried about the rights of foreigners in foreign countries who talk about killing Americans through acts of terror.”

Oh my. Can you spell Abu Ghraib?

He also stated: “I believe in Benjamin Franklin’s admonition that someone who would trade a little liberty for a little safety will wind up with neither, so I am always ready to respond if our agencies abuse the rights of Americans, but I have not seen any definitive case of that yet.” — Olivia Flores Alvarez

We just loaded up a batch of photos from Saturday's Lebowski Bash at Caroline Collective, featuring bowling balls, mustaches, art cars, nihilists, the Tontons and SexyATTACK. -- KP

So this past week everyone was all in a tizzy about a bunch of high school girls in Massachusetts who apparently made a pact to get preggers together.

Of course, this news disturbs me for a whole mess of reasons, not the least of which is that when I was in high school, the only pact my gal pals and I made was the first one to get to the cafeteria had to save seats for the rest of us.

Anyway…what really, truly disturbs me, however, is the totally insane and irresponsible suggestion that the recent movie “Juno” – about a teenage girl who places her kid for adoption – is somehow to blame for all those bellies popping out everywhere in Gloucester, Mass.

George Carlin, RIP. We now pause for a moment of seven-word cussing...

12:04 a.m. at Mugsy's

Bill Olive hung out on Kirby on Saturday night, starting at Mugsy's...

1 a.m. at the Big Easy Social and Pleasure Club

...and working his way down to the Big Easy.

Stephenie Meyer, queen of the vampire books -- Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse – marketed to teens, has ventured into adult and science fiction with The Host, and almost instantly scored a No. 1 bestseller.

In this book, Earth has been invaded by another species, known as “souls.” A soul, which bears no small resemblance to a silvery centipede with thousands of antenna, is inserted into an opening cut into the back of a living human’s neck and then takes over the host’s mind, driving out the original inhabitant.

As the story begins, a special soul, one who has lived on several other planets in several other life forms (a flower, a bear, a dragon, to name a few) is being inserted into the body of a young woman. Once there, the soul will take on all the human’s memories and begin life on Earth in a calmer, safer manner. Earth people have been deemed suitable for replacement because we are all too violent.

Here’s all you need to know: There’s a new Alan Furst novel out, and he’s at the top of his game.

Furst has become the absolute master of evoking a singular period in time and place: that murky, shifting, ominous period right before World War II, as lived in the various capitals of Europe.

His plots can be wispy; if you’re looking for supposedly thrilling final scenes of shootouts or ticking bombs that need to be defused while busty blondes look on, you’re in the wrong place. But his descriptions of 1930s Europe – the people, the hotels and the trains (always the trains) – are entertaining and enthralling as hell.

Last week at the Republican Party of Texas State Convention here in Houston, U.S. Senator John Cornyn, who is seeking reelection, was introduced to the crowd with a new campaign video and rhyming ditty that uses classic Texas tough guy, cowboy imagery.

“As the sun rose on the Pecos
The big clock it had burned.
Six years darted by
Is it another man’s turn?
Don’t think that Big Johnnie,
We’re sending you back
You’re doing the Lord’s work for Texas,
And we got your back.

If the posters and flyers for Starbucks and the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston’s latest Mixed Media Event have you thinking “WTF, TFT?” let us help you out: Tha Fucking Transmissions. The local hip hoppers had to acronym-ize their name in order to keep things kosher for the MFAH’s PR team. It happens, and hey, what do we care? We’ll drink wherever there’s a bar and good music.

If you have pets and you live in Texas and you’re a moron who chooses PETCO over PetSmart, don’t buy no food from your preferred store today: the FDA has requested a seizure of food stored at their distribution center in Illinois.

Based on my experience at their dimly lit, dungeon-like stores staffed by indifferent, overwhelmingly unhelpful employees, this comes as no surprise. So, uh, yeah. – Craig Malisow

It is the Rodney Dangerfield genre of the art world: demeaned, dismissed and definitely not getting any respect with subject matter like crying Elvises, fang-bearing jungle panthers, Jesus with various apostles, and full-frontal nekkid Hawaiian girls.

But for Caren Anderson and Carl Baldwin, there is no greater art than that done on fine black velvet—and fuck the critics! The pair’s passion has led to their travels on the “Velvet Trail,” with a still-growing collection of more than 1,200 works mainly culled from garage sales, defunct shops and Mexican flea markets.

Hundreds are on display in their Portland museum, The Velveteria, and they’ve just co-authored Black Velvet Masterpieces. The book traces the history of velvet painting, highlights some of the genre’s key artists, and features photos and commentary on many of their collected. Houstoned spoke with the pair about fate and fuzzy canvases..

You both started on the "Velvet Trail" shortly after reconnecting after nearly 30 years since you’d last seen each other in high school. Was it destiny?

Baldwin: It was the misbegotten union of Jack Daniels and Ma Bell. Actually, an unseen hand from the other side has guided us since the beginning. I was trying to find out what happened to an ill-fated classmate when I called Caren. Once we stepped onto the Velvet Trail, our fate was sealed. There is no turning back.

In case you were wondering, being Miss Pop Rocks is not, in fact, a full-time job. Miss Pop Rocks does other things, one of which is working on her thesis for her master’s degree. (Shocking, but true.) Now, focusing on said thesis can be quite difficult, so from time to time I need to take a break and watch terrible, horrible daytime television.

For instance, I need to watch the DNA Dance of Death better known as the Maury show, hosted by Connie Chung’s better half.

Lately, I’ve found that one can really get quite analytical about Maury in the same way that one can get analytical when writing their master’s thesis. I decided to put my skillz to the test and scrutinize the several specific reactions that can happen when paternity test results are revealed on Maury.

Houston’s favorite wife-beating, medical-license-losing, cocaine-positive-testing dad has done it again: On June 4, a hair plucked from the scalp of “Doctor” Michael Brown tested positive for cocaine, according to Brown’s case file in Judge Bonnie Hellums’ family court.

Brown lost his medical license after violating the terms of his probation in 2006, although, according to The Hand Center’s Web site, he “retired.” You may know him from commercials for The Hand Center – in the new version, he’s surrounded by kids from both his marriages, plus his second wife, Rachel, whose glassy eyes and seemingly-surgically-implanted smile in no way indicates that the happy marriage is a facade. But while the commercial may be new, the motto is vintage: “We treat you like family.” Which, in Brown’s case, means there’s a likelihood you could get beaten silly with a broken bedpost.

Like a perfect storm, what are all the components that need to come together to generate a crime? Could a crime that occurs in one part of Houston have happened in another, or in the suburbs? How much does place as well as persons have to do with all that follows?

In “Paranoid Reality,” the first installment of our new Crime Story column, writer Randall Patterson tries to answer some of that. He begins with the case of Whitt Bruney, a master craftsman living in the Montrose section of town who ran afoul of a neighbor with ultimately tragic consequences. His friends thought he was over cautious, just this side of maybe crazy. Turns out, he wasn’t cautious enough. It’s an “I told you so” from the grave. – Margaret Downing

The presumptive Republican nominee and his backers came to the downtown Hilton earlier today to talk energy policy. McCain got plenty of applause when he called for more offshore drilling (big surprise here in Houston) and when he compared his opponent's policies to those of Jimmy Carter. We got photos. -- Keith Plocek

After the jump, we’ve embedded a documentary about the deportation of peace activist Scott Parkin from Australia a few years back . Parkin now calls San Fran home, but he lived here before heading Down Under, and the documentary features some quick footage of the infamous 2005 anti-Halliburton protest in downtown Houston, in which mounted officers from the Houston Police Department descended upon the crowd. There’s also bonus footage of Parkin eating a peanut butter sandwich. Yum. – Keith Plocek

Can you relate to this? Have you ever found yourself collapsed on the couch, reaching for your drool cup, unable…yes unable to move from your position even though what you are viewing on television absolutely horrifies and disgusts you? And you begin to question your value as a fit human being, a normal, somewhat functioning adult? And you begin to wonder how you can go on when you can’t break free from the nightmare you are trapped in?

This is how I feel when I watch Dina Lohan and Denise Richards on E! Entertainment Television. Trapped in a Hell that I have myself created.

Now, before I go on, I have to say I don’t begrudge celebrities their lifestyles and their quirks and their self-indulgence…as long as they deserve them in some capacity. Julia Roberts is an infectiously cute and charming actress, even as she ages, and she probably deserves some sick-ass gorgeous ranch in Taos with her organic baby food or whatever. Bill Gates revolutionized technology, so he deserves some insane mansion where the rooms adjust their temperatures when you walk into them. (Freaky!) Kanye West has created some incredibly catchy, fantastical musical gems, so he deserves to act like an asshole most of the time, and that’s fine with me.

For decades now, the Central Intelligence Agency has reacted to most criticism by saying the agency’s successes are secret while their foul-ups are public.

Pulitzer Prize-winning author Tim Weiner puts the lie to that assertion in Legacy of Ashes, a comprehensive, chronological study of the past 60 years of the CIA. It won the National Book Award last year and has just come out in paperback.

In 600-plus eminently readable, utterly convincing pages, Weiner lays bare an agency that has long acted ineptly and illegally, one that casually lied to Presidents and any other officials who were occasionally dispatched to figure out why the CIA could never live up to its mission.

In the midst of rising gas prices, a mounting energy crisis and global warming, it’s comforting to know at least one elected official is fighting for our right to...watch TV and be lazy.

A month ago on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives, Republican Congressman Ted Poe of Texas argued against the ban on Thomas Edison’s incandescent light bulb that begins in 2012 in favor of the energy-saving compact fluorescent bulb.

One of Poe’s concerns has to do with warnings that the new bulb may cause interference to TV and radios.