Holly Madison Wants Hef’s Baby…HAHAHA. Okay, I Stopped Laughing

Categories: Pop Rocks
Without dissolving into a feminist tirade (which I can do very easily, mind you), I have to take a few lines to say that I hate E!’s The Girls Next Door. Not to say that I hate Bridget, Kendra and Holly personally or anything. In truth they’re probably nice people and all. (Actually, Bridget seems nice. Kendra seems loaded and dumb, and Holly seems like a stuck up snot. But moving on.)

Anyway, what I hate is the show itself and what it represents for all the reasons you probably think I do.

I hate how it presents an image to young girls that having big breasts and acting vacuous and childlike are excellent ways of getting attention from men.

I hate how it okays the idea of grown women living in an almost dorm-like set up with a man complete with a curfew in exchange for swank digs and free clothes and make up.

I hate how it promotes the belief that the only things a woman has to offer are her beauty and youth. (I still laugh when I think of the episode when Holly stupidly made fun of the pathetic and aging former Playmate Barbi Benton, obviously not understanding that if Hef lives just a few more years, Holly herself will probably be replaced.)

And, above all, I hate how it suggests that any woman in her right mind would sleep with an 81-year-old man who has had a stroke and walks around in a bathrobe all the time.

GROSS.

Now rumor is out that 28-year-old Holly Madison (Girlfriend Number One) is planning on making a baby with Hef’s aged sperm. Never mind that – absolute best case scenario – Hef might live to see his child graduate high school. No, what troubles me more about this story is the gross indulgence of it all. After a boob job and nose job and achieving such personal goals as becoming a Hooters girl and a Hawaiian Tropic model, Miss Madison wishes to become a mother to a blessed event.

Ick, ick, ick and quadruple ick.

Am I the only one who has the sneaking suspicion that she’s doing it for all the wrong reasons? To get adorable presents to coo over in her five-year-old girl voice? To be able to buy cute maternity wear that will display her tatas even more? To cement her toehold in the Playboy fortune? (Keep in mind Hef’s still legally married to a former Playmate, and he has stated he has no plans to get divorced.)

I know I’m gonna get a whole bunch of comments about how I don’t know these women and how dare I judge them and blah blah blah. But you know what? Who cares! Those women make being a woman that much more difficult. Because women were not meant to wander around a mansion in hot pants, chasing after little dogs and acting like they were mentally challenged when they, in fact, have a master’s degree in communications. (Bridget, come on, girl!) And women were not meant to live in situations where grown men could dictate where they could go and what time they had to be back.

And, yes. Women were not meant to become impregnated by 81-year-old men who wander around the house in their bathrobes.

Wow, this ended up being a feminist tirade after all! Ha. Hilarious how that happens sometimes. Sigh… -- Jennifer Mathieu

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