What a Dump: Get Ready for the Super Bowl

Categories: Whatever

You may be surprised to hear this, but employees of the Houston Press often receive press releases, many of them from people who obviously never have looked at the Houston Press. They want us to write stories about bed-and-breakfasts in Vermont, new HEB stores, and popular Valentine’s Day gifts. We respectfully decline to cover them, and that’s that.

But yesterday we got a service-journalism lead we just couldn’t ignore. A woman sent us an email with the innocuous subject line “Super Bowl Tips.” When we opened it, we were assaulted with this: “Plumbing Problems Can Throw a Flag in Your Super Bowl Party Plans.” Mr. Rooter Plumbing wanted us to know that “Super Bowl Sunday is well-known for people consuming more food and drinks than usual. This means more trips to the bathroom, especially during half time, so owners should check their toilets for any potential problems before guests arrive.”

Okay, ew! We really didn’t need to think about how much people shit during the Super Bowl. But now that we’re on the subject, we might as well tell you that Mr. Rooter suggests that, along with the usual beer and cheese dip, you supply single-ply toilet paper at your Super Bowl fiesta. – Cathy Matusow


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