Houston Blog

A new study says Texas ranks number one in the nation in teen pregnancy – and it’s about damn time! Because Texas had experienced a decline in teen births in the 1990s, it didn’t look like we stood a chance at nabbing the coveted God We’re Really Fucked Up Award from the Babies Makin’ Babies Foundation. But now we’re on top, boyeee! Now, if we can only devise a strategy to maintain our spot – like a statewide ban on all abortions, not to mention sex-ed classes that only emphasize abstinence. Yes, that’s a sure-fire way of making sure the teens keep spittin’ ‘em out! – Craig Malisow