Kwoutable Kwoutes

So some people are a little ticked that U.S. Rep Ted Poe quoted Nathan Bedford Forrest, the first Grand Wizard of the KKK, in a speech before the House Monday. But the Houston Press obtained a rough draft of the speech with other quotes he considered, and we feel Poe picked the best one of the lot.

Poe’s notes about the quotes are in italics.

"Fifty years ago they'd have you hanging upside down with a fucking fork up your ass. Throw his ass out!" --Michael Richards (Good opener – everyone seems to like the comedy stylings of that Kramer fellow)

"Fucking Jews. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." --Mel Gibson (This should impress the history buffs in the House)

“The truth is there are two hundred white women raped in America by a black man for every one black woman raped by whites.” -- David Duke (Leftover from a different speech, but I really want to fit it in. Hah – I guess I’m like a black man that way! HEY-OH!)

“Shoot first and ask questions later, and don't worry, no matter what happens, I will protect you.” --Herman Goering (Someone needs to have our troops’ backs, nomsayn?)

“Anybody who recognizes Israel will burn in the fire of the Islamic nation's fury."-- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Israel? What’s Israel? Heh, heh…)

-- Craig Malisow


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