Dead Letter Office

Categories: Whatever
Will all those who are dead please raise your hand?

And now, HouStoned presents "Dead Letter Office," our soon-to-be-ongoing series of letters inspired by Deathswitch.com, a local service that enables folks to send emails after they die.

From: "David Harris" [nobsdds@gmail.com]
To: "Clara Harris" [clara@hotmail.com]
Subject: The Mercedes

The brake is the one on the left.-----------------------------------------------------

From: "Morris Black" [friendlyneighbor@earthlink.net]
To: "Robert Durst" [richdudeinawig@yahoo.com]
Subject: My disposal

Next time, use Hefty "Cinch-Saks," OK? They keep out the water. You're rich -- what's this Fiesta-Brand shit?

--------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Ken Lay" [aspenorbust@gmail.com]
To: "Linda Lay" [lalalalovelylinda@juststuff.com]
Subject: I'm dead

Hi, Linda. I'm dead. I repeat: I'm dead. This service is only for dead people, of which I am one. There is no question. Why would anyone even want to argue otherwise? Isn't it about time we all moved on? I mean, I'm dead, and I've moved on. To Heaven. Yes, I'm in Heaven. And, regardless of what you've heard, it looks nothing like the Caymans. Well, gotta run. Being dead is tough work!

This batch of letters was unearthed by Craig Malisow.

My Voice Nation Help
0 comments

Now Trending

Houston Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...