Return of the Ten-Year-Old Curmudgeon

Categories: Whatever
Courtesy of The Family Lomax
John Henry's back, and this time, it's personal. (Well, not really, but we thought it sounded good.)

John Henry Lomax fans (and there are a lot of 'em), rejoice! Everyone's favorite Ten-Year-Old Curmudgeon is back, and this time, he's taking on Family Guy, weird anime and even the teacher who recently called him out on his "bossy teachers" rant. Be sure to leave him a comment; the kid loves fan mail.

Argument 7: You know what's really weird? Those Japanese cartoons. They are like the strangest things on earth! I mean they have one called Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo -- it's about a guy who controls his nose hair! I mean how much much more weird can you get? What do these guys go to bed thinking about? Or do they just turn anything they dream into a cartoon? Like they have got blobs, little suns that talk and they have these dark nightmare people who like get all happy and funny and start telling jokes. And also there is no plot AT ALL! Like the guy's just walking and he is attacked by a giant blob of jelly or something. And another thing -- you see those shows that think their characters sound and act American but they sound like a broken record player.

And that's why you should never watch Japanese shows.

(Unless you're either Asian or you have nothing better to do.)

What smells in here? According to John Jr., it's Family Guy!

Arguments 8 and 9: Here are the problems with Family Guy. Have you noticed that Family Guy is always doing flashbacks to explain everything? It's like half of the show is devoted to showing flashbacks explaining everything. And most of it is not even funny. Well, some of it is, I guess, but still it would be a lot better if it wasn't explaining everything.

Here is another thing I think is very disturbing. Have you seen the commercial for that movie called Black Christmas? I mean who the hell is going to see a horror movie on Christmas day? "Oh I'm going to go see a horror movie about a serial killer on Christmas day, oh boy!" Like what kind of sick, sick person is going to go see a horror movie on Christmas day? COME ON PEOPLE! A comedy I could understand, but a horror movie? What kind of people make that sort of movie? You decide.

Apology #1: I am sorry but I refuse to make any arguments over the holidays. Oh and to that teacher, you don't have to take your anger out on the kids. Some teachers just don't deserve to have that much power. -- John Henry Lomax

My Voice Nation Help

Now Trending

Houston Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...