Take That, Osama!

Categories: Spaced City
Stop that grinnin', camel. Normangee's on to you.

We know America can be a tense place, what with the looming threat of a terrorist attack and a war in Iraq. And it's clear that any symbol of the Middle East — dark men with beards, women in burqas, terrorists — is enough to send certain Texans reaching for their shotguns or 3030s.

But camels?

Yeah, camels.

Officials in Leon County are still investigating the shooting death of one of its residents, one A. Camel. The owner of the deceased camel, which lived on an exotic game ranch in Normangee, found the victim in a field with several buckshot wounds to the head last week.

Surprising? Heck, not in Normangee, potna. Sez sheriff Mike Price:

"When you live in a rural county like this, it's hard to keep exotic animals close to a well-traveled roadway. It's not uncommon for people to shoot at them from the road. It happens."

Well, around these parts, we'd call that a "Duh."

Before you PETA types get yer hemp panties in a wad, consider this. We know that the terrorists will stop at nothing to get us. They've tried to blow up our planes with travel shampoo, dammit. So let's call this what it is, a public service.

The proud 'merican who gunned down this obvious spy knew a foreigner when he/she saw one, and wasted no time dispatching this "animal." Who knows what sort of intel it was sending back to Osama, or whoever, from its hump?

We all know that Normangee ranks way up there on terror targets. But thanks to this brave patriot, them terrorists will have to get their reconnaissance the old-fashioned way. — Steven Devadanam

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