Hand Jive

Speaking of interesting doctors (editor's note: Um, that was so yesterday), ex-hand surgeon Michael Brown has started rebroadcasting a five-year-old commercial for his Hand Center in Houston. You may have seen it -- the one where the nattily attired doc sits in a comfy chair with his precious daughter Sophie in his lap. "We treat you like family," Brown says.

Which is strange, because this guy pleaded nolo in 2003 to beating his pregnant wife with a broken bedpost, so prospective patients might want to know just how certain members of the Brown family are treated. (Now his ex-wife, Darlina Brown has custody of Sophie and Sophie's younger sister.)

So what's new? Well, neither this chestnut of a commercial, nor the Hand Center's Web site, which prominently features Brown, say why the good doctor can no longer see patients. He tested positive for cocaine (for the second time) last October, violating the terms of his agreed order with the Texas Medical Board, which revoked his license in March. Now, the Montgomery County District Attorney's office is accusing Brown of violating the terms of his probation, and a hearing to revoke his probation is set for August 18th. If found guilty, he could be sentenced to prison.

Which means the Hand Center might need to hire a new symbol of paternal care for a front-man. Or, they could just keep running the same old commercial again. -- Craig Malisow