Love is in the air. Kids everywhere -- or, more likely, their moms -- are buying boxes of cheap Valentine's Day cards to hand out in the classroom.

It's a tradition that's been going on for years, and obviously it's not just for kids. But in days of yore, card designers could seem a little....creepy.

Like in these 11 examples.

​11. The drugs make him hunt
Those eyes and armed? The chicks'll be swarming at ya, kid.

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Let's face it, almost every dude has been there: It's February 13, and you're just coming out of a K2-induced fugue state. Rubbing your bloodshot eyes and picking yourself off the floor of the abandoned tannery you're in for some reason, the events of the last 24 hours come trickling in: there was a giant talking bird that told you about this awesome party; or maybe it was just your friend, Pete, disguised as a giant bird. That's just the kind of thing Pete would do.

There were indoor fireworks, an awesome DJ, and an absolutely amazing platter of cold cuts. But then it hits you: you had meant to get your significant other a thoughtful, romantic Valentine's Day present yesterday, and you've nearly blown it. No time to go to the Galleria. No, you've got to hit one of the convenience stores you pass on the way home, crossing your fingers that there' a hidden treasure inside. Well, you're in luck, pal, because there's an absolute bounty in this places. Here are eight suggestions.

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8. No More Flakes-brand dandruff-eliminating shampoo
Does your baby make it snow when she shakes that otherwise gorgeous head of hair? She's probably just been too self-conscious to buy dandruff shampoo herself. Why not come to the rescue by sparing her the public pain of admitting to everyone at the checkout line that her sloughy, brittle head-skin is one of the reasons that the vacuum-cleaner bags need to be changed so often? Do you know what this gift says? It says "Now I can finally run my fingers through your hair without feeling all icky." She will melt.

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Mike Wiggins denies nothing

​Mike Wiggins, Guadalupe County Judge and a former DPS sergeant, has been arrested for having weed in a College Station hotel room.

Wiggins, a Republican first elected in 2006 to lead the county, which is east of New Braunfels, was attending a convention there when the cops were called because a staffer smelled burning marijuana about 11 p.m. Monday.

Cops found a silver grinder, rolling papers and a plastic bag containing 20.1 grams of dope in Wiggins duffel bag after he consented to a search.

The Seguin Gazette reported:

Wiggins, who also served as Seguin's Department of Public Safety sergeant, said Thursday afternoon that there was nothing he could deny.

"It is what it is," he said.

Party on, Guadalupe.

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The play worked as designed, on both sides

​I got home from my show this afternoon and, having just finished up talking about sports for five hours, I did what I normally do -- turn on one of the sports channels on television.

Luckily (or perhaps not so luckily, if I had any designs on being productive), I stumbled across a marathon of Sound FX on the NFL Network. For those of you that are unfamiliar, Sound FX is a no-narrator, field-level version of game highlights where usually a handful of players/coaches are wired for sound.

It takes the game and turns it into a virtual drama, turns the players into characters, and sucks you in like a mosquito to a blue, fluorescent light. It is awesome.

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​Groundbreaking is scheduled for tomorrow on an $18 million Midtown project that will include 192 housing units for homeless vets.

Near the old Days Inn on Travis next to the 59 underpass, the Travis Street Plaza will include housing and support services for homeless and disabled veterans. The location is at the southern edge of Midtown.

Funding comes from the feds and Amegy Bank, the Supportive Housing National Equity Fund, Inc., and the Houston Housing Authority.

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I'm gonna use a Bin Laden gun!

​Kaleem Stephens and his colleagues had big plans.

They were going to knock over an armored car, with the help of some employees on the inside. The take would be about $250,000.

The plans included Stephens using what he called "a Bin Laden-style gun" on the driver which, evidence showed, apparently meant an SKS rifle.

Unfortunately for him, the "inside employees" he was describing his grand scheme to were undercover agents from the Texas Department of Public Safety and the federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.

Stephens, 30, was sentenced to 12 years in prison today.

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THANK YOU, Mississippi.

​A Mississippi lawmaker has completely and utterly disgraced Texas politicians by being the first to introduce legislation to change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America.

And not because, as Stephen Colbert once put it when he made the same suggestion, "we broke it, we bought it."

No, Rep. Steve Holland wants it changed because it just should be changed, dammit.

We couldn't agree more, but we don't think Holland -- who would change his name to Holland-America if there wasn't already a shipping company by that name -- doesn't go far enough.

More name changes needed:

5. St. Tony: The Alamo City will not only lose its unpleasant Mexican-ness, it will find itself more hospitable to the Jersey Shore crowd, thus boosting tourism and tanning-parlor revenues.

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