The Newest Houston Texan Has One Of The Greatest Plays Of All Time On His Resume (VIDEO)

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The Texans should be so lucky.
Believe it or not, going 2-14 in 2013 does come with some privileges for your Houston Texans.

Privileges beyond the right to select Jadeveon Clowney with the first overall pick, privileges beyond the right to select first in every round after that (S'ua-Filo! Fiodorowicz!), privileges beyond the right to finally purge an entire coaching staff which had become stale and whose methods had become futile.

Indeed, a 2-14 season has rights that drift into the following season, like a pungent poop stench hanging in the bathroom for another few months, specifically the first crack at any scrubs that find their way onto the waiver wire during training camp.

WOO HOO!

As a result, the Texans will shop and shop and shop some more for bargains, and at this pace they should break the single season record for most players to ever spend at least one day on an NFL team's roster.

Hell, at this pace, they should break it by the middle of August!

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MLB Trade Deadline: Fake Trades Overshadow Real Trades

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Big doings at the MLB trade deadline.
If you live in Houston, there's a decent chance you didn't notice that the MLB trade deadline yesterday was pretty damn awesome.

With 12 trades involving a total of 37 players, with the defending World Champions among the key sellers, with the Oakland A's looking to corner the market on starting pitching and wrap up the American League in late July, Thursday was a reminder of the transactional excitement that the pennant races in baseball can generate.

In Houston, Astros fans are still trying to figure out how they feel about Jarred Cosart being sent packing in a deal with the Miami Marlins that brought back a gaggle of players including top third base prospect Colin Moran.

I mean, wasn't Cosart supposed to be part of this rebuild going forward? So now the Astros are already flipping guys who they landed in the Hunter Pence trade?

When does it end? (Answer: Who cares.)

All right, now I haven't even gotten to the best part of trade deadline day, the newest development and product of the era we live in -- major media outlets getting duped by fake Twitter accounts.

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CSN Houston Still Bankrupt, Still Not Coming To A TV Near You

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Yeah, this whole bankruptcy still isn't settled
Presumably the bidder for CSN Houston was made to known to Comcast yesterday. Presumably, of course, because nobody will comment. An order was sought yesterday evening seeking to prevent Comcast from divulging any details regarding the potential bidder. The parties are supposed to have a status conference with the bankruptcy judge next week.

It's time for this clown show to end. Either the network lives, or the network dies, but this ridiculousness has to end. The network's been in operation for 22 months. That's two seasons for the Rockets and nearly two seasons for the Astros. Two seasons in which a large majority of the teams' fans have been unable to watch the teams play games on television. This is happening because the owners misjudged the market, misjudged price points, misjudged the willingness of the other cable/satellite providers to pay huge carriage fees.

The network was underfunded and given an unworkable management structure. It was forced into bankruptcy by one owner with another owner fighting every step of the way. There's been a fraud lawsuit filed by one owner against a former owner. It's an ugly mess that nobody deserves to win and in which the ultimate loser will be cable/satellite subscribers whose rates will rise when this whole fiasco comes to an end.

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[PHOTOS] Stop Patriarchy Protests Outside Harris County GOP Office

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Photos by Aaron Reiss

If the War Against Women is a national battle, Texas is ground zero.

That's according to Sunsara Taylor, a leader of Stop Patriarchy, a movement that is attempting end to the enslavement and degradation of women -- notably when it comes to the right to an abortion and the production of pornography.

"Roe v. Wade began in Texas, and the (pro-life constituency) plan(s) on ending it in Texas," Taylor said. "We came here to stand up against that."


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Harris County Boy Hospitalized From Latest Internet Trend, the Fire Challenge

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Youtube screenshot
Taken from a video titled "Fire Challenge Gone Wrong"...as if it can ever go right.
You've probably seen it on at some point on your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Vine feeds: people, particularly teenagers, participating in video "challenges" that usually involve doing something pretty stupid. Say, for instance, swallowing a spoonful of cinnamon under 60 seconds, or dumping an entire bucket of ice on your head (respectively and creatively called the "Cinnamon" and "Ice" challenges).

The latest, and probably most stupid challenge trend of them all, the #FireChallenge, has hospitalized a Harris County teenager for harmful burns. According to Lieutenant Dean Hensley of the Harris County Fire Marshal's office, the boy doused himself in isopropyl alcohol, a highly flammable substance, and proceeded light himself on fire.

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Fireman's Widow Sues Over Training Course Death

Categories: Courts

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Courtesy Ahmad, Zavitsanos, Anaipakos, Alavi & Mensing P.C.
Capt. Smith died after serving both his country and community.
The widow of a volunteer Atascocita firefighter who died of overheating during "smoke diving" training in Beaumont in 2012 has sued two firefighters' groups and a safety council, accusing them of gross negligence leading to his death.

Captain Neal Wade Smith, 46, a U.S. Navy veteran and father of two, died of hyperthermia after enduring "grueling drills in 120-degree temperatures while wearing sweat-soaked, 75-pound gear for two 10-hour days," according to the suit, filed Thursday in Jefferson County District Court.

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10 Places Where Summer Weather is Worse Than Houston

Categories: Weather

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Photo by Jeff Balke
Yeah, kid, we know. We feel your pain.
No one will argue with you if you claim that Houston is one of the most miserable places to be in the summer. It is. It's hot. It's humid. The mosquitoes fly off with small children. And, of course, there is always the threat of a hurricane. But is it the worst place in the world when it comes to summer weather? Not even close. In fact, it's not even the worst place in the U.S.

Don't believe us? Check out this hideous summer weather spots.

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This GoPro Stuntman Video Will Put Your Stomach In Knots (VIDEO)

Categories: Game Time, Sports

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Holy crap!
Ethan Swanson is one bad dude.

Until about fifteen minutes ago, I had no idea who Ethan Swanson was, but I learned from the video in this post that he is a professional stuntman, and fifteen minutes is about the amount of time it takes to watch this video.

Seven times.

Let me preface this by saying, I am petrified of heights. So petrified that not only am I a total wussy when it comes to roller coasters, I even hate first person point of view video footage of roller coasters. My legs turn to jelly, my stomach turns into a smoldering cauldron of nerves and the "diarrhea feeling."

And yet I can't take my eyes off of this Ethan Swanson video in which he defies death by jumping off of a roof while wearing a GoPro camera. My fascination with him outweighs my morbid fear of POV video filmed from way up high.

Here's the video, and a few of my thoughts afterward:

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Roy Andrew Langley: Officials Seeking Kin

Categories: Texas

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Officials seek family of Roy Andrew Langley.
Officials in Kentucky are seeking relatives of a Texas man who died there in 1994, but who was only recently identified as Roy Andrew Langley.

Langley was born 11/22/49, to parents Lee Andrew and Laura Faye Harvey Langley. Lee Langley's last known address was in Crockett, Texas. (His parents died in 2003 and 2001, respectively, and are buried in Evergreen Memorial Park, Crockett).

Warning: The only available photo of Langley's face, in death, is on the jump.

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Arian Foster's Media Non Responses Funny, but Needless

Categories: Football, Sports

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Photo by Groovehouse
Foster doing his talking on the field.
"Yeah, man. I'm just out here trying to be the best teammate I can be. And I'm gonna work hard at doing that." -- Arian Foster

Anyone who follows the Texans knows Arian Foster is a different cat. He writes poetry, waxes philosophical on Twitter and bows in the end zone after touchdowns, single handedly helping the average football fan to understand what namaste is. But those same qualities that make him fascinating can lead to problems for a guy who lives a significant part of his life in the spotlight.

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