​There are bear claws, crullers, holes, cream-filled, jelly-filled, donut-fillled, fritters, maple bars, chocolate twists, and long johns in the universe of donuts, with countless other varieties remaining to be created by bakers bent on sending us all to early graves.

Today is National Donut Day, a day to celebrate those filthiest and most base of desserts. The day was created by the Salvation Army to commend the women who handed out donuts to soldiers in World War I. We can't think of a better pastry to enjoy while stuck in a hellish, rat-infested trench of filled with the blood of your friends and enemies and other inhuman gore.

National Donut Day is a special day we honor these treats that tempt us each morning at work, when some joker thinks they are being a pal and bringing a few dozen to the office. You end up forgetting about the healthy Greek yogurt you brought and the next thing you know your desk is littered with sugar and crumpled Shipley's napkins. They can get the sweet off your fingers, but not out of your soul.

Here are some sexy pictures of donuts, mostly featuring women, because he couldn't find many pictures of hunky dudes eating or holding donuts since that doesn't occur, at least not with a camera around. It's guys that look like Homer Simpson, Kevin James, and Prince Fielder who eat donuts, and not your Bradley Coopers and Jason Stathams. Mmm...Prince Fielder.

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Photos by Adrienne Byard

​The 38th annual Pasadena Strawberry Festival drew an estimated 50,000 attendees this year, but it also drew our new photographer Adrienne Byard, whose photos from the event capture a slice of Houston so sweetly and unintentionally nostalgic that they could have been taken in 1978. From Byard's photos, you'd think heaven was Pasadena on a Sunday afternoon in May.

Take a trip through the festival for yourself in our slideshow, or just enjoy some of our favorite photos from the day below.

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​Spotted on the street in El Segundo off Oakland: This hipster storm trooper loves scotch.

Photo illustration by John Gray

A previous investigation. Click for larger view.

​We've already shown you what your lazier relatives are going to bring to the family Thanksgiving table, but what about the family's "senior eccentrics"? Don't be shy, now, we've all got 'em: the family members who, through the ravages of age, have largely taken leave of their senses.

Senility itself isn't really a funny thing. Indeed, it's a reminder of the many, many indignities the uncaring universe will inflict upon us - whether we deserve them or not - as we near the end of this pointless, raging shitstorm we call "life." So really, what else is there to do but laugh? You can't let the universe have all the fun, after all, and even the looniest old coot will have the occasional chuckle at the whacked-out things their malfunctioning brains have them do.

With that in mind, let's take a fond and respectful look at the things your elder family members will be bringing to the Thanksgiving festivities. And no matter how goofy they get, please, enjoy them while they're still around.

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There's one in every family. Everyone is supposed to bring a dish (preferably home-cooked) to the Thanksgiving dinner table, but there's one family member who can never quite get it right. Whether a victim of procrastination, incompetent cooking, or just plain not giving a rat's ass, at least one of your relatives will show up with one of the following items.

Oh, and if you can't think of which family member this applies to: it's you.

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​If you were ever a fan of Sex and the City, you may recall the episode from season four in which the women recount their "secret single behavior" -- the things each of them did when their boyfriends, lovers or husbands weren't around. Carrie admitted that hers was standing around in the kitchen, reading fashion magazines and eating a stack of Saltines layered with grape jelly.

Single or not, many of us have strange snacking habits, the kind we might not readily admit to but crave regularly. Some may be rooted in childhood--a beloved after-school snack, perhaps, or a quirky snack habit inherited from a parent or grandparent. Others, like my own personal need to occasionally buy a box of Lucky Charms and eat repeated milk-soaked bowls of its magical deliciousness, can be attributed to a past relationship or roommate (in this case, a boyfriend from my freshman year of college).

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​It was just too nice out to hide our faces in the dark dank decor of the bar, so we made some steak sandwiches with caramelized onions and blue cheese and headed into daylight. Hermann Park seemed like a safe bet. We settled down in the herb garden with the sandwiches, a bag of Zapp's cracked pepper-and-sea salt potato chips -- which may be some of the best chips ever fried for human consumption -- and a six pack of Magic Hat's seasonal beer, the Spring Vinyl lager.

The lager was really easy to drink, not too bitter, and it really went well with all the flavors of the sandwich. We also had fun guessing all the herbs in the garden -- pineapple mint, garlic chives and flowering purple kale. We ate our sandwiches and drank our beer by some lonesome marigolds...Ah, spring.

Photos by Katharine Shilcutt

​Yes, there's plenty of free food to be had at SXSW. But complimentary Zone bars and bags of Southwest peanuts can get a little old, as can waiting for 90 minutes in line only to get the dregs of some potato salad at a party for a company you've never heard of.

So get up early one morning and hot-foot (or cab) it to Polvos (2004 S. 1st Street), home of the best breakfast in Austin. The breakfast menu only has about a dozen items on it, but it's served all day long (prices go up after 3 p.m., so be warned) and it comes with your choice of salsas off the legendary fresh salsa bar.

My favorite breakfast plate at Polvos is the Huevos Motuleños (pictured above): two eggs on a bed of dusky black beans, covered in a tangy chipotle sauce and topped with thick strips of fried plantains (not bananas, as the menu would lead you to believe). For the less adventurous, however, there are your standard Mexican breakfast standbys like huevos rancheros and migas.

Don't come here expecting the twee, hipper-than-thou Austin attitude that pervades many of the restaurants close to downtown. Instead, enjoy the down-to-earth, no-nonsense staff and a hearty breakfast that will tide you over for the rest of the day. At least until the next party has you downing all the free Shiner you can get while it lasts...

More photos of Polvos are after the jump.

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​Jungle Café and Patisserie recently made the move from the 9100 block of Bellaire and is now located in a new strip center just east of Beltway 8 on Bellaire. The new location is primed to set the standard for new cafes entering the Asian market, seizing on a modern and simple build-out -- the elegant marble and soft lighting are inviting and trendy all at the same time. It's a minimalist look that works great with Jungle Café's classic style of pastries.

We picked up an emeraude made from pistachio, almond meal, coconut and milk chocolate. Jungle is known for looking down upon too-sweet desserts, and this cake was in line with the other selections. The only issue we have ever had with Jungle is that its beautiful concoctions can sometimes lack in the flavor department, but these flavors melded nicely together.

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​A plate of churros and a mug of hot chocolate is the best dessert on the menu at Hugo's, the upscale Mexican restaurant on Westheimer. A churro is a Mexican donut made by pushing dough through a nozzle into a deep fryer. The nozzle gives the long, stick-shaped donut pronounced ridges, which trap the cinnamon and sugar topping.

At Hugo's, the kitchen doesn't fry the churros until they are ordered, so they're served piping hot. Hugo's fills the hollow tube inside the donut with dulce de leche and serves it on a plate with a little scoop of mocha ice cream. But I can't afford to pay ten dollars every time I want a Mexican donut. So I had to find some alternate suppliers.

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