Avoid These 10 Foods If You Want to Get Lucky on Valentine's Day
Photo by Cliff Hutson All those tasty little basil leaves just waiting to get stuck between your incisors.
Picture it: You're sitting in a fancy Italian restaurant. The conversation is going great. She takes a bite of her osso bucco. You take a bite of your spaghetti alla pesto. Your first mistake was ordering spaghetti, but you're hoping to salvage the meal by eating very daintily. She looks up and smiles at you. You meet her gaze and return her winning smile with one of your own. Suddenly, she shrinks back in horror. You stare at her for a moment, unsure of what's gone wrong. She gestures uncomfortably to her own teeth. You hold up your knife, smile into its mirrored surface and see what appears to be a swamp creature growing out of every crevice between your teeth. Pesto was a bad call.
Remember what I was saying about looking like a caveman while you're eating lobster? Yeah, ribs are worse. First there's the gnawing of the meat off the bone, which initially can seem almost provocative until you realize the halo of barbecue sauce around your mouth is making you look like a deranged clown. By the end of the meal, you've accumulated a pile of bones on your plate, which A) reminds your date of a cemetery, and B) is just a tad cannibalistic, no? And you end up with shreds of meat stuck in your teeth and barbecue sauce under your fingernails for days, so everywhere you go, you smell faintly of vinegar and tomatoes. Not as bad as smelling like Axe body spray, but still not great.
The list continues on the next page.