Avoid These 10 Foods If You Want to Get Lucky on Valentine's Day

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Castle Rock Entertainment/Columbia Pictures
Order what she's having, but not any of this other stuff.
I've never been one to shy away from any meal when I am on a date, regardless of how unattractive the consumption may make me appear. I've slurped soup and spaghetti, virtually unhinged my jaw to chomp down on a burger, inhaled more garlic than a vampire hunter and cracked shellfish like a caveman without ever worrying what the fella across the table would think as he watched me eat.

I've always believed that truly reveling in a good meal is pretty sexy.

That said, I'm one of the few who feel this way. I know girls who won't eat salad on dates for fear they'll get lettuce stuck in their teeth and guys who won't chew on ribs because it might make them look uncivilized. I say, "Who cares?" But I guess I can see where they're coming from.

So, in the spirit of the upcoming holiday (you know, that one that celebrates the lives of martyred saints love), here are some foods that are sloppy, smelly, unwieldy and, um, digestively challenged. Eat them at your own risk.

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Photo by Jonathunder
Medicinal properties, yes. Good breath properties, no.
10. Anything with a lot of garlic
Yes, this one's a given. How is it that garlic smells so good when it's being shoveled into one's mouth, and so bad when its odor is breathed back out? It's truly one of life's great mysteries. I think we can all agree, though, that no matter how much you like garlic, it's no fun to kiss someone with garlic breath. And unfortunately, no amount of tooth-brushing and mouth-washing can erase the scent completely. It just has to fade on its own, which is why it's probably best to avoid things like garlic bread and super-garlicky pasta altogether.

9. Brussels sprouts
There was a time when everyone hated Brussels sprouts. They were the go-to example of nasty food (along with liver and onions, which is actually quite delicious). But these days, the marble-sized green veggies are everywhere as a trendy new side dish. But beware. Brussels sprouts contain raffinose, a complex sugar also found in broccoli, cauliflower and cabbage, and raffinose, as our pungent gas can attest to, cannot be broken down in the small intestine. It heads to the large intestine, where bacteria release carbon dioxide and methane while breaking down the raffinose. Brussels sprouts also contain sulphur as a defense mechanism ('cause who wants to eat that?), which, when combined with the methane gas in your bowels, makes for one hell of a...you know. So yeah, skip them sprouts for one evening.

The list continues on the next page.


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