Three Brothers Bakery Charms With Anti-Valentine's Day Treats

Categories: Sweets

Photo by Joanna O'Leary
For that nasty, smelly gorilla in your life.

Of course, they're offering a plethora of indulgent confections colored red, white and pink with sweet messages for you to give to your significant other, best friend, co-worker, blah blah blah. But more interesting, and perhaps more useful, is their absolutely fabulous line of Anti-Valentine's Day desserts.

I'm partial to the vanilla cream petit fours inscribed with messages such as "I H8 U," "U Suck," "Go Away" and my absolute favorite, "meh". (Really, what other three-letter word in the English language so beautifully conveys such indifferent uninterest?)

Photo by Joanna O'Leary
Eat them and weep.

Even more impressive in terms of design, and equally tasty, are the frosted sugar cookies. Their shape seems to represent not so much the symbolic organ of amorous love but a desire to stab someone through the heart (perhaps thereby returning the favor?).

Photo by Joanna O'Leary
A cookie with Grumpy Cat telling you to lose weight? Deliciously mean.

The pièce de résistance in this line is the cookie depicting Grumpy Cat, who admonishes the recipient: "You'd be PURR-fect...if you lost 15 pounds." What an extraordinary feat of culinary cruelty.

So, if you've got an ax to grind this Valentine's, head to Three Brothers Bakery. Pick up a few treats for your frenemies or pre-order a whole box for your favorite nemesis.

Location Info

Three Brothers Bakery

4036 S. Braeswood Blvd., Houston, TX

Category: General

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My Voice Nation Help

Wow, as far as I know this was my amazing Aunts idea. Amanda Campbell of Three Brothers Bakery.


Haha! My single co-workers and I are having a Single Awareness Party aka I Hate Valentine's Day!  We are encouraging all broken hearted and single souls to party with us at lunch time.  I was looking around f or pastries/desserts, thanks so much! I'm going to check out Three Brothers' for sure.  We're all wearing black, too.  ha!  

Sam Van Ryder
Sam Van Ryder

Because there's no better way to celebrate Valentine's Day like self-wallowing and pity!

FattyFatBastard topcommenter

What are the size of those and cost per cookie?    Do they have varying sizes?


What is self-wallowing?...that sounds sorta kinky.


Spoken truly like someone who's never been dumped.

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