How to Order a Bottle of Wine in a Restaurant (Without Feeling Like an Idiot)

Categories: Wine Time

Photo by Jeremy Parzen
Think of your sommelier not as your servant, but rather your dance partner.
Have reasonable expectations.

Don't expect fine-wine service at Applebee's. You won't get it. It's for the "Chard-Cab-Merlot-Malbec" crowd. Look for superior wine service in restaurants that offer it, and be tolerant when your server at your favorite Tex-Mex pours you a corked "Napa Cab" (just politely inform her/him and request a new bottle).

Do your homework.

Look at the wine list online if it's available. This is the best way to prepare for any fine-wine experience (I do this all the time). And when you're heading to a high-profile restaurant, look around online for a profile of the wine director. It's a great way to learn about the sommelier's interests and her/his list's focus.

Reflect beforehand on what you want to drink.

One of the biggest issues for diners and sommeliers alike is that many guests don't know what they want to drink. Don't be afraid to tell the sommelier what kind of wine you like (oaky, buttery Chardonnay? low-alcohol, traditional-style Nebbiolo?), and if you don't see any familiar wines on the list, ask the sommelier to pour you a taste of something she/he thinks you might like. That's part of what by-the-glass programs are for: Most sommeliers will be happy to "taste you on" a wine before serving it.

Set your price ceiling before you arrive at the restaurant.

Never be embarrassed to tell a sommelier how much you'd like to spend (I do this all the time as well). And don't forget that tax and gratuity need to be figured into the total bill.

Don't be afraid to question the fitness of a wine.

This is one of the stickiest subjects in fine-wine service (and it will be the subject of the next post in this series). Any sommelier who reacts rudely to a question of fitness shouldn't be in the business. Even when the guest is wrong about the "correctness" of a given wine, there's no excuse for rudeness.

Remember that sommeliers are people, too.

This is probably the most important element in a great restaurant experience. Think of your sommelier not as your servant, but as your dance partner. When you walk into a restaurant for the first time, the sommelier knows nothing about you (while you may know something about him). She/he has to gauge her/his approach to your table on your appearance and attitude. Just like a dance partner, your demeanor gives her clues as to what wine will work at your table.

Remember that fine dining is always a wager and not a science.

I go out to eat a lot. And I eat in high-concept restaurants all over the country and in Europe. Fine dining is part of my livelihood, and is accounted for in my yearly budget. And I'll be the first to tell you that any given restaurant can have a bad night. And the same holds for wine to an even greater extent: Wine can be fragile and unpredictable, and as it evolves in the bottle, it can change radically. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you or your sommelier planned.

But when they do work out just right, it can be one of the most magical experiences of a lifetime. That's the fun of it all.

On deck for next week: How to evaluate the fitness of a wine, and how to send it back when it's not right.

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Perhaps there is a Wine Restaurants for Dummies book. I know that it would help me. 

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Jeremy, thanks so much for broaching the subject-- there needs to be an ongoing conversation about the interaction between Sommeliers in a restaurant and diners looking for a bottle of something tasty. Your point about wine knowledge trumping hospitality is so relevant--in this age where people are obsessed with wine certifications and pins, it befuddles me how few people know how to bus a table, or remember to fold a napkin when someone is away from their chair, or help the Maitre d' answer the phone, etc., etc., understanding that a guest's complete experience is a sum of all of those things.  Discovering Teroldego is only one facet of most people's enjoyment of an evening out.  As a Sommelier myself I wish others would remember that more.  Ladies like their chairs pulled out.  ;-)

What is a reasonable way of figuring out a tip for a bottle of wine? Seems as though the tip for a $60 bottle should be close to the tip for a $30 bottle, given the labor and time involved. And what about a $100 bottle?


what should I do when the somm opens the bottle, places the cork in front of me, along with a small taste of the wine I've ordered

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