Now Bring Us Some Fig Pie Cocktails, and Bring Some Out Here!

Categories: Beverages, Booze

Photo by Joanna O'Leary
The Fig Pie will warm up your cool fall and winter evenings in a cheerful way.
Good tidings we bring for you and your kin
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. (And a Happy Halloween.)
Now bring us some figgy pudding
Now bring us some figgy pudding
Now bring us some figgy pudding
and bring some out here.

Winter, sixteenth-century England. Revelers really liked fig pudding, so much so that they obnoxiously repeated their request in an attempt to annoy their neighbors (who, come to think of it, didn't invite these carolers in the first place) enough to bring them some. NOW.

Jesus. It's not like figgy pudding is something you can just whip up in a matter of minutes. Well, who knows? Maybe Britons in the 1500s were actually happy to comply with this demand for pudding.

In a similar situation (which is hard to imagine if you're living in a gated apartment complex), I would be profoundly tempted to tell those songsters to "f*ck off." It's hard, however, to be openly mean around holidays, and besides, maybe actually giving them something will encourage them to leave. (Weird logic, I know.) But Figgy Pudding? Not likely. How about this cocktail instead, which I am proffering in honor of one of my favorite holidays, Halloween:

Fig Pie Cocktail

  • 2 oz Cruzan Estate Diamond Dark Rum
  • 3/4 oz orange juice
  • 1/4 oz brown sugar syrup (making by boiling 1 part brown sugar and 1 part water)
  • 1 TBS fig chutney

Fill shaker will ice. Combine all ingredients in the shaker and shake vigorously for 15 seconds. Strain into a chilled coupe or martini glass. Garnish with grated nutmeg and skewered fig.

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